I am obsessed with my ex, I can’t move on

Dear Roxanne,

My boyfriend and I broke up eight months ago over irreconcilable differences. Problem is, I can’t stop thinking about him. I find myself obsessing over what could have been. I have not been in another relationship since the break up because I am still hang up on my ex. I want to move on with my life but I don’t know how. Is it normal to be thinking about my ex after such a long time? Lisa.

Dear Lisa,

Different people take different amounts of time to move on after a break up. It is a gradual process that requires time and effort.

You should not be embarrassed that you are still consumed with thoughts of your ex, eight months down the line.

However, dwelling on the past can prevent you from living your present life to the fullest. You need to get rid of all the guilt or regret that you might be carrying along that is preventing you from moving on.

The most important part of moving on is cutting all contact with your ex and getting rid of all material things that reminds you of him.

Next, you should surround yourself with friends and family members that make you feel happy and good about yourself. Involving yourself in an activity that you love will also prevent your thoughts from continually drifting back to your ex.

Be open to the prospect of meeting someone new. You will need to make a conscious effort to stop thinking about him.

Every time you find yourself thinking about him, stop and shift your thoughts to something else, perhaps an exciting project that you are working on. Instead of sulking and grieving, focus on self-improvement.