Ten types of Kenyan house helps you will encounter

While you may argue that the bosses’ attitude and behaviour largely determine how many house managers she or he will stay within a year, getting the right housemaid depends on your luck, your ancestors and if you like the grace of God. Here are the types of house girls you are likely to encounter in every homestead.

She spent most of her life in Shamakholo, so she has little knowledge of city life. You will come from work and find her trying to empty the water in your seater toilet or throw off a gas cylinder because it is empty. You will also have to train her on how to use the cooker, electric kettle and even washing machine.

Her major focus is to win the heart of the man of the house. She will serve the husband extra-ordinarily like washing his hands with warm water and walking near him suggestively. She is the kind of house girl who puts on short dresses and hangs around the sitting room whenever the husband is at home. Sooner than later, you will start hearing about her clandestine affair with your husband.

She may not have intentions with the man of the house but she is a slay queen at best. Whenever she has finished her job, she will change into her best outfit and start taking selfies on the balcony. She even has enough nail polish. When you meet her on the streets on Sundays when she is off, you will mistake her for a classy working lady or housewife.

She wakes up at 8 am when the kids have already gone to school. Instead of completing her work, she sits down to watch Naija movies. She will just do one or two things and forge. The school bus driver has to call her to go for the kid. She always needs the intervention to change the diapers for her employer’s child. The employer has also to remind her to change clothes and to take a shower.

Believe it or not, the housemaid in your house could be a CID sent out to investigate your illegal activities. Perhaps you could be a wash-wash schemer or someone involved in money laundering activities. Sooner than later, you realise your secrets have been revealed to security enforcers. She will not only reveal the secrets in your house to security enforcers but also to your neighbours.

She will set you up for robbers by informing them about items in your house and the best way they will access the home. Besides, she will not only give them a copy of the house key but also advise them on the time to break in when you are fast asleep. When you wake up, you find your house empty. She will be the first one to pretend how sad she is while in a real sense, she understands what is going on.

She knows many things and even the boss relies on her on where to get the best clothing or the way to Gikomba. If you want cheap unga, sugar, or veggies, she is the one to rely on. She also understands how things work including digital systems. The boss will be using her skills to apply for good conduct on e-citizen platforms. How she knew how to bake a birthday cake is a mystery.

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She is prayerful and does her work diligently and with lots of humility. Every Sunday, she asks for permission to attend church. Unlike her counterparts who take the time to visit friends, relatives or boyfriends, she heads home straight after church and helps the boss with the chores. She does not hesitate to share bible verses with her employer. 

She is a drama girl and if her salary is delayed for even two days, she will cause chaos all over the house. The only thing that is keeping her in the house is the fact that she has bonded well with the kids who also love her. Whenever the boss threatens to fire her, the children cry prompting her to call her back.

She is known to entertain people in the neighbourhood. If it is not her boyfriend who steps in immediately after the boss dashes out, then it’s her bestie next door or her muchene partner from the neighbouring plot.