Bad idea: Driving lessons from your man

Among my fellow women, how many of you have ever been taught how to drive by their partners? Or better still, how many have had the chance to perfect their driving skills with their partners on board?

I was once a ‘victim’. I say victim because that’s exactly how I felt like from the moment I sat in the car. Let’s just say the training never happened because I got fed up half an hour after we had started.

This man was the reason I never gained confidence on the road. The way he gave instructions inside the car is out of this world. I cannot even count the number of times we had to park off the road so I could calm down from the yelling and screaming. I even remember giving up and getting out of the car in protest.

Somehow, this gender always believes women fumble a lot on the road. This is a myth we all should do away with. For your information, dear men, the only time we fumble is when you are onboard yelling and cursing in our ears. You should see how well we drive when you are absent.

By the way, I gave up driving almost ten years ago after suffering several panic attacks with my man on board. The way he made me sweat while on the steering wheel was enough for me to pledge allegiance to public transport. I am now a self-made passenger no matter the situation.

This doesn’t only happen when learning how to drive under their watch. There’s a way these men don’t trust us with anything electronic in the house. Even with a simple television set. I remember one morning, all the channels just disappeared on my television and I innocently called my man to ask him to tell me how to go about it. The lecture I received from him was enough to earn me a PhD.

I was told not to ‘mess’ with his television set and wait for him to get back in the evening so he could handle the matter. As if I was going to pluck all the wires from his set and use them as skipping ropes! Or maybe he thought I was going to boil his remote control?

Anyway, I didn’t listen to him; there was no way I was going to stare at a blank screen the whole day because someone thought I wasn’t intelligent enough to follow instructions. I fiddled with the damn thing until all the channels were restored.

When he got back that evening and found that I had succeeded, he insisted that I take him through all the steps I went through to restore the channels. I had actually thought he was going to give me a pat on my back for my success. But no! He was worried that I might have messed up something in the process of restoring the channels. He was evidently mad at me. He spent the evening inspecting the television set just to ensure all was well.

Some men just don’t trust women with things we can handle perfectly well. I really don’t know why they are not good teachers, especially to women.

Dear men, we aren’t as dim as some of you imagine. You will be shocked that we can do some of these things better than you. Instead of telling us we can’t do something, teach us with the same love you use when approaching us.

Where does that loved go when you become our teachers? All of a sudden you lose patience and confidence in us. But I thank God that all that energy stops at electronics and their machines. I can imagine if these men dragged that ‘ordering around’ to house chores! It would be disastrous having to cook or clean with hawk eyes watching your every step, coupled with hornbill shouts into your ears!

My single years have taught me how to handle most of the things men dominate in a relationship. I can even dismantle a fridge and assemble it single-handedly. I no longer have to call service providers when my channels disappear from my television. I have found the perfect way to solve all these issues -- deal with it myself.

The only thing that was totally killed by my ex-partner is the confidence to drive. Whenever I get into a car to drive, all I hear is his voice yelling, “Beryl, you will drive us into the river!” Yet we were 200km away from the said river. These men though!

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