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Home / Relationships

Five important conversation topics in a new relationship

Relationships
By Esther Muchene | 4 months ago | 4 min read

 Having these conversations will prevent you guys from relationship uncertainties (Photo: Courtesy)

Every new couple goes through the bliss of the honey moon phase. You constantly want to be around each other and everything your partner does is just perfect.

But is it really?

While you’re still head over heels, you definitely need to enjoy that stage of the relationship because it will not last especially if there are certain topics you or your partner would not touch with a six-foot pole.

It might be uncomfortable to address these very important subjects but, it’s necessary. Otherwise, you will both be heading in totally opposite directions without even knowing it based on assumptions or out of fear.

To be on the same page here are some issues you need to iron out while the relationship is still fresh:

  • Marriage

It’s very important that you have a clear understanding of what commitment looks like for the both of you. As much as you’re officially dating, you still need to know whether your partner solely believes in monogamous marriages or whether they only want alternative arrangements like polygamy or an open marriage.

Don’t assume that they have the same mindset you do and you can only know by talking about it.

Also, do they even want to get married or are they just in it for the ride? You need to find out if marriage is your end goal.

  • Religion and spirituality

Differences in religious beliefs can be a huge deal breaker for many people. It’s understandable because what you believe in shapes every area of your life from your personal beliefs and family matters all the way to finances.

If you don’t mind being with someone who has completely different religious beliefs, this won’t be a big problem. But, it’s still better to move forward knowing who they are, what they believe in and how it will affect you.

 Ensure your dreams and goals align so your futures don't have friction (Photo: Courtesy)
  • Kids

Knowing if they want kids is something that needs to be discussed even before you start seriously dating. This is a very big deal because if one person wants kids and the other is completely sure they never want to have any, your relationship is already at risk of ending.

Another thing you need to look at if you both want kids is how many you want. It doesn’t mean that you must have that exact number of kids but you can get a clearer perspective on whether you are on the same page or not.

  • Money

It’s true that love is blind…most of the time. But to be completely honest, finances matter because you can actually be ranked as financially attractive or unattractive when it comes to dating. This has to do with not just how much money you make, but also about whether you have financial wisdom.

You also need to talk about what you believe in when it comes to financial contribution in a household for you to know what the expectations are.

Don’t go in with the assumption that because he is a man, he is expected to carry all the financial load of the family while you keep all your money. Be sure how much he can contribute and how much you can top up so you can both be comfortable.

  • Values

Its impossible to know every single detail about each other especially when you’ve just started dating. You will get to learn about each other’s habits over time but, you still need to have a general idea of who your partner is.

Do they have more traditional values while you have completely opposite views? Are they okay with going to the club while you prefer someone who doesn’t go to those particular places? Do they drink or smoke when you’re not comfortable with that?

These are just some of the questions you need to ask because you need to know whether you can deal or not before you fall in love and develop into something more serious.

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