When I was single, I found a lot of validation from others and it messed up with my esteem. After attending a number of counselling sessions as a way to boost my already dragging esteem, my life turned around. Armed with invaluable advice, the counselor challenged me to recreate a happy life without thinking of other people (my ex especially). Here are some of my take home messages that I hold on to to-date.
Set some personal goals
Having some personal goals will set you apart from the rest as you'll have something to work towards. Being able to set your mind towards something draws your energy from unnecessary things as you concentrate on the set goals.
Grab a notepad and write your goals, both short term and long term. Checklist what you've achieved and what you'd like to achieve as you map your way around it. Remember to celebrate your small wins.
Stop self comparison to others
There's so much you'll have to do to keep up with other people's expectations. The sad truth is that they keep changing, therefore you have to be your own person. To remain happy when single, you have to stop feeling as if you're being left out by your coupled up friends.
Sinking into thinking that your friends who are in relationships are better off than you is devaluing self. Be confident in your state and enjoy the season.
Pursue your passion
What are you passionate about? Could you have thrown your passions under the carpet? Pursuing something you love will spur up great feelings of happiness. Following your passion will make you feel like you are pursuing a loved one. The great way you feel accomplished ensures that you end up upbeat and excited as you build on something you are investing a lot into.
Sometimes, when you have a partner, traveling involves way too many logistics. Being alone, you can explore the world and travel. You don't even have to consult someone. All you need is some travel essentials, a passport and yourself!
Travelling will keep you in the know as it creates opportunities for meeting different people. Your perspective will broaden and you may collect a number of things along the way.
Volunteer for a worthy cause
Nothing makes you feel more fulfilled than living beyond yourself. Volunteering for a worthy cause removes the focus from doing things that please you only to what improves the lives of others.
Volunteering is admitting that others matter, and this will improve your perspective of relationships without romance.
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Take Care of your body
Oftentimes, people tend to look good to impress their significant others. As a single person, this shouldn't be your motivation. Looking good should be for your own good, meant to make you feel good about yourself. Go ahead and buy that dress and glam up. You deserve it!
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