How a narcissist lowers your self-worth

The term ‘narcissist’ is sometimes loosely used to describe a person who may have a very high level of confidence. This is true to narcissistic behaviour, however, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is displayed by a lack of empathy for others, a high sense of importance and the excessive need for admiration and attention.

Kenya's music sensation, Tanasha Donna, recently came out and insinuated that the father of her child - Tanzanian mega artiste, Diamond Platnumz, is a narcissist. Tanasha is one of the many women who sadly fall at the mercy of narcissistic partners. Below are five ways a narcissist can manipulate you into lowering your self-worth

A narcissist’s true colours won’t be outright and obvious in the beginning, they may actually start off by being the partner of your dreams. They would typically sweep you off your feet, ticking off every mental checkbox of your ideal lover.

Some people may see this as a great thing but be very weary if they come on too strong too early on in the beginning of the relationship. Things may start off super great but then turn sour the moment you do something they don’t like.

Some people may unknowingly do things that make their partner feel insecure. When it comes to a narcissist, they want to keep their partner on their toes because doing so gives them the satisfaction of knowing that they are above their partner.

A narcissist will not want you to feel secure when you’re in a relationship with them and this can cause unnecessary drama and, in turn, make you look like the crazy, insecure girlfriend.  

Communicating with a narcissist is difficult because they do not like to listen. Their thoughts and feelings override their partners’ and this can make a person feel invisible.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like being in a relationship by yourself. Their only concern is your willingness to listen to them and this is never reciprocated because they don’t care about what you have to say.  

Before getting into a relationship with a narcissist, they more than likely found you attractive in the beginning, hence their initial interest in you. As mentioned above, most narcissists start off being the ultimate dream partner, however, this changes as time goes by.

They don’t like making their partners feel good about themselves, so they will almost never give out compliments and this can make their partner feel as though they are unattractive.

A narcissistic partner will have you constantly second-guessing yourself. They do this by toying with your insecurities which ultimately manipulates you into submission to them.

A term ‘gaslighting’ is whereby a narcissist will invalidate your feelings, experiences and memories making you doubt your very own reality. They may even make you take responsibility for something you didn’t even do creating a false feeling of guilt in you.