My fellow women, especially the married ones, do you personally serve your partner his dinner especially on the occasions that he is running late or do you just organize his meal and retire to bed? This has been one of my greatest hurdle in my love life. If there’s anything that shakes any relationship that I get into, it would be the art of going out of my way to take care of my partner especially during ‘hard’ times.
By hard times, I mean those odd hours that a woman is expected to perform her duties. For those whose partners leave the house earlier than them, meaning they have to wake up at least an hour before you do; do you wake up as well and prepare them for the day or do you coil yourself even better in bed as long as everything is in its place? By everything, I mean the milk is in the fridge, the matchbox is within his reach, the gas cooker is not hidden and bread is visible. I equally mean that the clothes and shoes he is supposed to wear are inside the house and you didn’t swallow the key to the main door such that you have to wake up and throw it up for him to exit.
I remember I once dated a human who insisted on having his dinner freshly prepared the moment he got back home from wherever. It didn’t matter whether he got back at 9pm or at 1am. Anytime I heard him hooting at the gate, I had to get up from my comfort zone, go out, open the gate, come back and start preparing his meal. This same meal that he would only touch twice, at most thrice. By the time he was done, you would think a rat was there and left before it was full. When I was still new in the relationship, I used to religiously wake up past midnight to open the gate and prepare ugali. Later on though, I realized that I was being taken for a ride. Why did I have to be the one waking up past midnight to walk to the gate in that cold and interfere with my beautiful sleep because someone has come back from a ‘drinking spree’? I put the drinking spree in quotes because I know it’s not always about drinking, sometimes we know where exactly you are jetting in from and it’s nowhere near a bar. But because we were brought up better, we keep our cool.
Dear men, if you are out past our dinner time intentionally, ensure that you have dinner wherever you are. Just come back home and sleep, because that’s all you do after your escapades, sleep! You snore louder than a phone vibrating on a huge Mijikenda drum that has been put in the sun for hours to produce the best beats. The only time a woman should wake up and prepare her partner dinner in the wee hours of the night is when he is from an unavoidable place that is of more good than harm to the marriage. You will have to stop sealing deals at 1am with ‘the boys’, are you night runners?
I can consider waking up an hour before my time to help you get ready for work or whatever but only if I have to. Don’t shake my poor body at dawn asking where the milk is. I have offered to take you to a tour of your own house during the day to show you where everything is. Dear future husband, if you can’t eat cold food, if you can’t warm the food by yourself, come back home and eat with me. If that’s not what you want, shall we all agree that you will have dinner wherever you will be? That place you always come from tired and full? And why do you always just drop and sleep? Is this a hostel? Let me not start! Just don’t marry me if you can’t be nice.
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