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Four ways to get the man you want

Relationships By Lutfiya Wanjiru

Asking someone out on a date is simply stressful. What if they reject you? What is they laugh in your face? What if they call their friends and ridicule you? It can be traumatic! But sometimes it’s a necessity if you like someone.

Traditionally, the ‘man’ is in charge of asking the ‘woman’ out. But what happens when this man can’t seem to realize that you are attracted to him? You’ve gone the whole nine yards, greeting him in a flirtier tone, making eye contact, literally putting yourself out there, but nothing. He is as oblivious as a door knob.

When it comes to taking your shot, lets face it not all of us have experience in the NBA. The shot could completely miss the basket and you will be consumed by embarrassment. Here are a few ways that could aide you in your conquest to ‘shoot your shot’:

1. Investigate

Remember, you are not only an interested woman you are now an investigator as well. You are better than any FBI special agent. Look for clues in his social media, usually this is the first place one could find out if there is- let’s say ‘competition’. Please note, Mr Sir may not post about his ‘bae’ but trust that if there is a ‘bae’ she’ll be all over the comment section. If you see one account handle that just seems to be plastered all over Mr Sir’s social media platforms you have found the ‘bae’. If there is no sign, you may approach the situation but with caution.

2. Ask around

So what if you don’t find anything on his social media? We go back to the old fashioned ways, ask his friends. Step away from the ‘close page’ button. Listen for a minute, don’t approach just any friend, approach someone that knows him well enough. Avoid direct questions like ‘Is your friend Mr Sir single?’ As a woman you are built to be crafty. You could ask questions like, ‘I haven’t seen Mr Sir this week, is his mama peleka-ing him mbio? *insert fake laugh here*’. The responses could range from ‘Yeah, you know a man and his obsession with his woman’ or ‘What mama? That man doesn’t know how to get himself into a relationship’. See, crafty.

3. Be his friend

Is there a possibility that he will friendzone you? Probably. But that’s only a fifty percent chance. The thing about this approach is that it might take some time. Be his friend, learn his mannerisms, at some point during this friendship you are bound to figure out what he is about. You will definitely find out interesting facts about him that could either aide in your quest or put you off completely.

4. Bite the bullet

You may want to save yourself the stress and just be out with it. This is the quickest and most effective method. You may pee your pants, statistics have shown but you will have your answer. Now before approaching the possible love of your life, have a plan. If he says yes, have a date or activity in mind already. Don’t ask him what ‘he would like to do’. Sweetie, by approaching him first you are basically in charge. A plan for dinner and a movie can never go wrong. Now if he says no, he isn’t interested for whatever reason, thank him for his honesty and do not be bitter. He was not the one for you, your stars aren’t aligned and your demons don’t play well together. At least now you know, on to the next one.

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