Girl code: Women, let’s celebrate our men

Earlier this month as we celebrated the International Women’s Day, I was touched by the number of men who stood up to celebrate women. There was clearly so much love in the air, it could be felt even by those who hadn’t received personalised wishes.

Then I remembered the bitterness that fills the air whenever men are supposed to be celebrated. Unlike women, men have a way of embracing their targets and ensuring they are met. They rarely get derailed. On this day, I appreciated the fact that they took their eyes off their goals for a moment so they could fix them on us. Men, you deserve a round of applause for celebrating women. I know there were definitely a few elements here and there that represented the proverbial pain in the ass (in particular, men who tried to pull women down on this special day) but, trust me, the momentary attention was refreshing, even though it felt like a drop in the ocean to some women.

Anyway, I was talking about the few occasions when men are supposed to be celebrated -- the likes of Father’s Day. There’s never a bitterer atmosphere on social media as there is on this day. This is the day many wombs decide to settle scores they’ve held on to for days, months or even years. Fathers are hit left right and centre on the streets of social media and the hardest hit are the deadbeats; there’s really nothing this lot doesn’t hear on such days. One might be mistaken to think its Men Bashing Day instead.

As much as some of these men hurt us, I would love to urge us women to stay focused when dealing with certain issues. We are always accused of dragging our emotions with us even to battles that need them not. Father’s Day is one of those battle grounds we should avoid when our mission is to bust these men.

Did you see how the men placed us all in one basket and celebrated us? That’s what we should do. It’s high time we stopped dividing them into subgroups and bashing them. You will find a very touching Father’s Day wish that starts with all the pomp and praise to the good men only to end on a foul note by signing off with a curse to those believed to be ‘bad’.

If he is bad to you, please don’t spoil the day by giving him airtime on the day that his fellows are celebrated. You can bash him all you want, but could you please select another day for that? Like his birthday? Or just any other random day, it really doesn’t matter.

I know the current generation is full of disappointing fathers and heartbroken mothers. I am not saying women are angels -- all I am saying is that men know how to oversee our faults when it’s time to celebrate us. They fix their eyes on the good that came out of the relationship they had or have with us. They will even celebrate us even if we are no longer in their lives. We, on the other hand, will go the extra mile to drag men back into our lives just so we can bash them and remind them of their flaws. If only we could just hold it together and find a better way.

I am not telling you to give a bad man a standing ovation. No! Just don’t mention him where saints are being celebrated. You can’t carry a hornbill into an eagles meeting and start venting about how much of a nuisance it is! Wait for the hornbills meeting, carry it there and give it, not a piece, but the whole of your mind if you wish.

Let the love that filled the air on International Women’s Day be the same experienced on any day that men will be celebrated. However, I must equally ask the men to try and tone down their truant ways. It’s not a coincidence that most of you are bashed instead of being celebrated. Leave positive footprints wherever you set foot. Let your actions speak for you and speak well because, as it stands, your actions are your biggest betrayers. Don’t disturb calm waters and cry wolf when you start feeling the ripple effect. Be nice, not only to the women around you, but to all the women at large.

We are here to give each other support -- great support for that matter. Celebrating someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to be with them. It only shows that you are proud of them for something they are or did. Life is too short to wake up throwing missiles every morning. After all, were we not created to coexist? If Planet Earth suffocates you, just hold up a little bit as we find a way of evacuating you to another one. There’s a variety -- nine to be precise -- the choice is yours. Just don’t run back to us after you meet flying crocodiles and swimming elephants wherever you choose to go.

[email protected]