Yes, there are marriages made in heaven, right here in Kenya

There are a few of my friends who know I pen this mums’ forum and so last week when they saw the piece was on lousy marriages, they felt that to be fair, I need to also give the good side of marriage.

“Come on Mo, we all know many marriages are troubled. But it is also true there are great marriages out there,” Flo who has been happily married for 15 years told me.

And I totally agree with her. The focus on mainstream and social media is on the ugly side of marriage, it’s depressing. For the sake of our young girls who hope to meet nice husbands, today I will focus on the heavenly side of marriage, to keep their hope alive.

King who treats you like his queen: I used to think that chivalry went to the dogs until I met the husband of a dear friend. Mark is truly the model man; he opens the door for his lady, drops and picks her from work every evening and if he is too engaged he organises a cab for her. Most men have insomnia when it comes to the woman’s special day, but this man never forgets the wife’s birthday. Every year, he pulls a different surprise. These guys are so in love, they are not afraid to hold hands in public as they engage in hearty conversations. This man knows it’s the little things that go a long way in melting a woman’s heart making her a great lover and companion for years.

Man who is on top of his game: For a woman, it’s heartwarming to have a man who is hands on. My friend Jane has a hectic job and she is always globe-trotting. Her husband Juma, on the other hand, has a flexible schedule because he runs his business. To fill in the wife’s absence, the man is so in charge of things in the house, he gives her peace of mind. He puts the trash out every Friday, he buys mboga, nyanya, veggies, meats and grains every week. He organises for the house girl to prepare all that and stock it in the fridge. He attends the kids school activities, and cheerfully runs all those errands men label feminine. To make it up to him, when she is on leave, she steps in and gives the man that much-needed break. The way these two lovebirds run their unique lives is so impressive; it demonstrates that marriage is a workable partnership.

The feminist husband: Former US President Barack Obama is the epitome of a feminist husband. This is a husband who believes men and women have equal rights and deserve to be treated well. Jimmy my friend’s hubby is that kind of man. He is the kind of man who can carry mama’s handbag proudly in town and can buy for her sanitary pads openly in the supermarket. To him, it’s no big deal. This is a man who cherishes and loves his wife so much, the relas think ‘amekaliwa chapo’. But he does not give a hoot. And the wife reciprocates the love equally. 

The writer is a married working mother of a toddler boy and a pre-school girl. She shares her experience of juggling between career, family and social life.