Please, spare us your public displays of affection, you campus clowns!

It's a very boring Sunday afternoon (as they usually are). The sun is at an all-time 99°C. Wi-Fi in the hostel is pathetic. You have half-done Calculus assignments. Your head is banging because you mixed beer; whiskey and vodka during last night's debauchery. You have 69 missed calls from your Mum, and your K.U girlfriend has probably already dumped you and moved on after sending you 739 texts to no reply. Let's just say you are in a hell of sorts.

Basically, the universe has already decided you're going to have a bad day. And you know what they say about fate; you can't change it. Circa 4 p.m., you decide all you want is a little walk and some alone time, so you take a lousy shower and head out of the hostel. You marvel at the trees within the campus compound like it's the first time you're seeing them. You smile at the sight of the buildings, the greenery, the furniture, passing comrades, the pavements, everything. You're pathetic and needy, but it's not like you care anyway.

Then you reach the school 'park' and the first thing your eye catches is the couple making out at the other end. The boy has his tongue stuck so far down the mami's throat he could swallow her whole; their arms are wrapped around each other's neck so tight two tractors wouldn't be able to pull them apart. You want to shoot them both in the eye; instead, you just walk away.

On your way towards the library, another couple, ahead of you, walks slowly; like they're on their way to their honeymoon. They, occasionally, stop to steal quick kisses and stare into each other's eye and whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears and laugh like a bunch of retards. You decide you've had enough of PDA for one day, so you head back to your hostel and return your Mum's call.

Dear campus lovers (especially first-timers); we know you're in love, and we know love is a beautiful thing because we were once there ourselves. We know how the angels sing in your hearts and the birds chorus beautifully and the air breezes perfectly when you're with each other. And we want you to stay in love and enjoy it for as long as it lasts. However, all we ask is you spare us the sight of you 'enjoying your love'.

Kiss in the shower, hold each other's hands in the kitchen, stare into each other's eyes in the bedroom, whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears in the balcony. Just don't bring it out to the public eye. Because, sometimes, while you may be tempted to pause and steal a quick kiss along the pavement, just remember that there's someone behind you who may have gotten his heart broken long ago and is, presently, just thinking of how to return his mother's 69 missed calls.