Let cheating men be, it’s not your business to alert their women

I have no love for self-obsessed playboys. There is this guy in my gym whose reputation as a skirt chaser preceded him. I knew about all his sexcapades long before I even laid eyes on him because scandalous stories like those ones have a tendency of going around. Anyway, I was indifferent about the whole thing. As long as he was not trying to dip his love stick into my lady bits, he was not going to be in my crosshairs. He could sleep his way from here to Timbuktu as far as I was concerned. Not my circus, not my monkey.

All along, I thought he was one of those misguided souls who want to sleep around as much as possible before finally settling down with one girl. Then I found out he had a doting long-term girlfriend whom he was living with. That new turn of events piqued my interest. I was curious to discover what kind of a woman would want to be with such a man. I did a little research and found her online. I did a quick snoop on her social media pages and from what I could tell, they have been together for at least four years. Her status updates painted him as the ultimate boyfriend.

I was dumbfounded. Was she really in the dark about her boyfriend’s indiscretions? Somebody needed to let this poor, blind-sided girl know what a scum her boyfriend was and that person was going to be me. I was not acting on a hunch or hearsay. I had seen his infidelity with my own eyes. She was living a lie and it would be the right thing for me to disclose his unfaithfulness. So I sat down and composed an email addressed to her. There I was, trying to sound reasonable, even compassionate, telling a total stranger that her boyfriend is a player who does not deserve her. I was definitely doing her a favour.

Just before I hit ‘send,’ I had a revelation. Was it really my place to expose him like that? The more I thought about it, the more it became clear that it was simply not my place no matter how justified it felt. First of all, I know nothing about the circumstances of their relationship. They could be having an open relationship for all I knew (highly unlikely though). Or perhaps she is well aware of her boyfriend’s hanky-panky and chooses to live with it for reasons best known to herself. Or maybe she really is a naïve woman living in ignorant bliss. Whatever the case, it was simply not my place to tell her about his disloyalties. If it was a friend or someone I know and care about, I would have been inclined to say something and rightly so. However, these people are total strangers and I have no right to get involved.

Unfortunately, we cannot fix the world. Sometimes we need to sit back and let things unfold by themselves. I believe that things always come to light at the right time. He may be feeling all high and mighty right now, but he will eventually hang himself.

@RoxanneKenya

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