Give up on your dream of joining the Mile High Club - they're on to you
Nothing can pop the bubble of holiday excitement quite as much as inconsiderate fellow plane passengers.
Invasion of personal space , rudeness, being drooled on, being talked AT - there's an inexhaustible list of ways a person can be driven insane at 35,000 feet.
The misery doesn't even necessarily start on the plane. If you're really unlucky, it can happen as early as the queue to check in.
Flying, especially for those who are nervous about it, isn't always a glamorous and relaxing experience. But as we're all just trying to get from A to B with rage kept to a minimum, we should all be trying to get along.
Flight attendant Nuralia Mazlan, a Most Viewed Writer in Air Travel on Quora contributed to a forum discussing the golden rules and cardinal sins of air travel.
From boarding through to cruising and then landing Nuralia has outlined her five big air travel bugbears.
5 things you should definitely not do before, during and after a flight
1. When boarding
"Should you need to have your neck pillow, eye shades, books, ear plugs, ear phones, laptops, vanity kit etc please do so when everyone has settled down in their seats and not while there's a long queue of passengers trying to get to their seats as well.
"Your blocking the aisle and impeding the boarding process is not cool.
"Better yet, do it before you get into the cabin. Take out whatever you need first so you won't be blindly rummaging through your bags for your stuff."
Flying can be stressful, but you're not the only one trying to get somewhere
2. And again, when boarding...
"Don't get aggressive with the crewmembers. Should you have a problem, ask politely.
"Boarding is the peak time where everyone is doing way too many things at one go.
"We're liaising not just with you but with multiple, other personnel: ground staff, cockpit crews, in-flight catering, and engineering.
"Everyone's fuse is short here, and since the door isn't closed yet, remember it's easier for us to call the enforcement officers and offload any, um, troublesome passengers."
3. When cruising
"Don't block the aisle. The aisle needs to be clear of any obstructions at all times, to prevent any unforeseen injuries.
"Someone else could trip on your legs or bags and fall down. I've tended to these types of injuries before, where a passenger trips over someone's bag, falls down, and hits the arm rest squarely on their mouth."
Airplanes are hotbeds of annoyance - so let's all try to be nice
4. Still cruising
"Don't do anything immoral, please.
"Mile High Club? Pffft. An aircraft is not your private bedroom.
"Getting too boozy, too drunk, or too whatever and insulting others is also not cute. You'll be welcomed by law enforcement officers once we touch down."
You could find yourself in a spot of bother come landing if you're not careful
"Sir, I know you have to be somewhere. I know you need to be somewhere. I know you can see the seatbelt sign is still on. So why do you get up before it's off?
"I know you're eager to exit the aircraft -me too (especially if this is my last sector). But were I to have an injured passenger on board their health would be in jeopardy now because this other passenger refuses to obey the regulations and instead chooses to be selfish.
"What if the captain brakes suddenly while taxing down the runway? You'll be thrown forward. This is not ideal for me either, as it's close to midnight and I need to go home, too.
"Please be seated and we can all be on our way once the captain says the magic words you are dying to have repeated from the pre-landing check, 'cabin crew, disarm all doors and cross check'."
Some other things to consider
Nuralia wasn't the only insider with pointers. Others came forward with these faux pas which , unbelievably, people are still making.
" Don't touch the help. I see people grab the Flight Attendant's arm, leg (in one case, her butt), or tap them, hook their clothing with a finger, elbow them, pat them and otherwise lay hands on them." - Robb Jake
"Don't make threats about hijacking or taking over the plane, even as a joke." - Dick Karp
"Don't be the one person who turns on a light or opens your window to the morning sun while everyone else is sleeping on an overnight flight." - Ben Garland
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke