Parenting: My mother suddenly wants a grandchild

You don't know exactly why your mum is visiting. She has not given any reason. But she is in town and they seem to be having a strange liaison with Carol when ordinarily they are snobs. But they seem to be getting along quite fine.

Recently, some aunts who ordinarily never call you called to ask if a baby is on the way. Really? And then some uncle too called to invite you to a fundraiser, but he managed to sneak in a line about wanting to see a grandson -- he was very specific on that -- sooner rather than later. Your sister too mentioned that you are taking too long and wanted to know if there is a problem.

And then on the morning you are seeing your mother off to the upcountry bus stage, she gives you a lecture on raising kids.

"Carol will only be your wife fully if you have a child of your own with her..." she said it with a seriousness like you are about to die from a terminal disease.

"Your father too said that he will not be here for long, so you better hurry up..." it is getting comical.

Do other couples also get pressured to get children as soon as they tie the knot? You have only been formally married with Carol for less than a year, but the coordinated attacks from the older members of your family are a bit overboard. But even Carol said she wants a child, twins, no less.

And all along you thought you could enjoy marital bliss for three or even five years before you could have the politics of getting a baby. When you told Carol as much, her answer was swift...

"I would have hit menopause," she said, melodramatically. "It is better I get a child or two now, not later."

Then it hit you. Besides the pressure to secure the marriage by at least having children, women are governed by a biological clock that is exact and unrelenting, even though artificial interventions may see them prolong giving birth until they have hit the peak of their career, then they can revert to motherhood like Janet Jackson. But Carol is not open to the idea.

Now, you have to handle the child-making business like it is an emergency so your folks can get off your back. Otherwise, potentially you may be impotent in their eyes and that reflects 'badly' only you.

In the meantime, Carol is no longer using any contraceptives and it is now upon you to deliver. You need all the luck. Next time you travel home, people need to see Carol with a bun in the oven.

But you have done it before. You can do it again and you assure mum as you drop her off that you have been thinking about it, and they will see the results soon.

It is kind of weird discussing your sex life with your parents.

@nyanchwani [email protected]