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The school holidays and festive season are a great time to teach our children true generosity; that a generous person acts unselfishly and cheerfully for the benefit of others.
This involves a free decision to give something up, something that we have a right to retain but not simply getting rid of it, or walking away from it.
Tangible possessions
As far as physical, tangible possessions such as money are concerned, there is a tendency to give what is left over, what one does not need, instead of giving in keeping with the needs of others. Of course, it is not a question of going to the other extreme — giving away everything one has and being left deprived.
It’s also not a question of giving away physical objects because that is the lesser of two evils: for instance, a mother who gives lots of things to her children to compensate for not spending time with them.
Generosity with our time
One’s time is something that can be given. It means being willing to put down the newspaper when a child wants us to listen to her; it means organizing oneself better to be able to spend a quiet period with one’s husband or wife; it means helping a friend.
Most of us think of how much money we can make in a given period of time, instead of realizing that the best use of our time might be to produce a smile on the face of a child who is sad or unhappy, for instance.
A person is generous if she is willing to make an effort to make life more pleasant for others, greeting someone whom she basically dislikes or doing little things that she knows will please somebody.
Forgiving
You can also be generous by forgiving others when it’s not easy to. To forgive requires great personal sense of security and a willingness to serve others.
It does not mean belittling the seriousness of what others have done to us but simply recognizing the need that others have of receiving our love and generosity in response to whatever they have done to offend us.
We have to make an effort to show them that we have not rejected them because of their actions. It means showing them that, despite what they did, we accept them and have confidence in their ability to improve.
Motives of generosity
These include:
* False generosity toward people that we like very much. It is easier to do something for a person whom we like and not to others. We find this in very young children, but even more in teenagers who tend to judge people in over-simple terms as either good or bad, nice or nasty, and they are deliberately kind only to those whom they judge favorably. A person must have her priorities right and help those most in need.
One of the genuine motives for generosity is to see a positive reaction in the other person. If parents smile or are demonstrative in their expression of thanks for any efforts made by their children, this will encourage them to continue and to behave similarly towards others.
* False gestures made in the hope of repayment in kind. Some false generous acts are done with a view to obtain some benefit. This is selfishness.
Nevertheless, parents can open up new horizons for their children by suggesting truly generous acts for them to perform or by explaining to them somebody’s genuine need of their help, thus encouraging others.
True generosity must never induce us to satisfy the mere whims of others. This is where prudence comes into play. We need a proper assessment of our own situation and that of the other person so as to understand what we are trying to achieve; we will then be in a position to decide and act accordingly.
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