The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
We have all at one time met a couple and thought to ourselves, ‘How did he end up with her? She’s too good for him!’ Every guy has that girl that he is positive if he ever approached her romantically, the best he could hope for is a pitiful once-over and a gentle let down, simply because she is ‘out of his league.’
He feels that they are on different levels of attractiveness, hence he wouldn’t fare well if he pursued her romantically. He is a five, while she is a solid nine. How could things possibly work?
There is no denying that people who are conventionally beautiful have an advantage in mate selection. We are a culture that places inordinate value on physical attractiveness and as insensitive as it may seem, no one wants to date someone ‘beneath’ them.
They want to date someone who is more or equally attractive as them. Having said that, I think this whole notion of leagues is utter nonsense. It is nothing but a cowardly way of manipulating themselves into backing out of possible rejection.
There is no premier league of people, despite what society tries to convince you. Being out of her league is just inside your mind. Putting yourself beneath her, or out of her league, means that you believe in the flawed idea that there are leagues within humanity. Desire is a personal, illusive thing. What you find beautiful, I may find repulsive.
The concept of “leagues” is a self-limiting belief. If there is a foolproof way of disqualifying yourself out of the running with a potential mate of someone who could be into you is regarding yourself to be beneath them or out of their league.
By do so, you essentially send out a subconscious message that you are not good enough for her. If you think you are not good enough for her, she will also feel that she is too good for you and it will be a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you don’t think you’re in their ‘league’, why should they think you’re in their league?
The ability to forge an emotional connection is what is important in attraction. If you want to be in anybody’s league, you need to improve your ability to connect with them emotionally. It all comes down to how you make her feel. Do you make her laugh?
Do you make her feel appreciated? Do you have common interests? If you have something in you that she values, then you are in her league. So what if you don’t look like a Greek god? Women don’t date height or broad shoulders or abs. They date a person.
The whole idea of leagues has become so ingrained in us that when we see what we perceive as a mismatched couple, a gorgeous woman dating an average looking man, we automatically assume he has money, or a high-status job and that is why she can tolerate being with him. We refuse to consider the idea that she could be legitimately attracted to him.
The other problem with leagues is that it often comes with a sense of male entitlement. If a man feels that a particular woman is in his league or below his league, then he is entitled to date her. When he gets rejected by a woman who is above his league, it is no big deal. It was a long shot anyway. However, if he gets rejected by someone in his league or below, he gets offended. How dare she? He forgets that all women, no matter the level of attractiveness, have their own personal tastes.
So, go ahead and ask that girl who is out of your league out. Be confident and let your personality shine and soon, we will be looking at you and wondering how the hell you managed to win her over when she’s so clearly out of your league.
join