How to tell if a woman in a relationship is acting or she is for real

Women know how to put up a good act. When they smell potential in a man, their ratchet behaviour is quickly replaced by a wifely demeanour that can fool your mother.

You have had bad girls from college who suddenly became church-going house wives raising toddlers and quite happy on Facebook, a far cry from the ratchets you danced with and did terrible things with back then.

With your new catch Cindy, while a recovering bad girl, you have to establish if her latest transformation is genuine or if she is fooling you. Only time can reveal her true character. You are old enough to have seen women who were saintly turn evil witches upon settling down with your best friend.

Little wonder why men rarely visit their married friends in their homes. It explains much why bars are so popular as meeting points for men.

Cindy is lately doing incredible things. On top of preferring homemade meals, drinking in moderation at home and suspending smoking, she has now assumed a wifely character that is confounding. She has patience with your friends, relatives, even the most annoying ones.

She has made friends with the groceries ladies in the estate, gossips with the salon ladies a few blocks from your apartment, and has opened a credit book in the kiosk. You feel she is trapping you into a come-we-stay union; everyday you see your freedom dissipate.

Funny that a few weeks ago, she was a hardened woman who said she would rather die single than suck up to a man. Now what has changed? With hindsight, you now understand why your beautiful neighbour gave you a through pass, and she is conveniently out of the picture and you have even forgotten about her. In fact women do the hook up game better than men.

At your age, you know a woman can act like a saint until that wedding is done, a kid later and her true colours will emerge to shock and overwhelm you. Almost all your married friends in their 30s are bored out of their skins with their wives and they cheat on them with reckless abandon. You don’t approve of it, but you can’t rule it out yourself. Most say they do it because they feel under-appreciated by their wives and insist their wives changed on them.

You don’t approve of it, but you can’t rule it out yourself. Most say they do it because they feel under-appreciated by their wives and insist their wives changed on them.

May be it is the vagaries of child birth and aging that turn some women into bores and nags. Or they are simply good actors who can put up a great show to fool everyone only to take off the mask when it is too late to release them?

At your age, you are walking a tight line by giving one woman too much audience and access to your life as you have done with Cindy. And her strategic adjustments can easily dupe you. Nothing like a woman with an hazardous biological clock trying to trap some man.

What you cannot afford to fall into is an unexpected pregnancy. The best favour you can do for yourself is to initiate that the contraceptive talk. You need at least a window period of a year to decide if Cindy is the one.

But how do you bring up the topic without scaring her?

@nyanchwani

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