I'm a lonely single dad and no one wants me - how can I find love? : Evewoman - The Standard
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I'm a lonely single dad and no one wants me - how can I find love?

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Dear Coleen

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I am a 41-year-old single man, bringing up my 12-year-old son alone. I have cared for him since he was born after his mother walked out.

In choosing to look after him, I gave up my job to work part-time so I could be at home more.

But it has cost me friends and relationships, to the point where, seven years ago, I chose not to bother with either and just to live my life continuing to look after my son and make him the happiest child he could be.

I’ve been told I am a really nice man with a heart of gold and that not many men would have done what I did.

They also tell me I’ve also done a fantastic job bringing up my son to be such a happy, respectful and polite child.

My son’s now at the age were he has his own social life (better than mine, I might add) and is nagging me to find a nice woman.

But for the past two years I’ve tried various online dating sites hoping to find someone to make me happy, rather than being just content with life.

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But I continually hit a barrier because I’m 100% honest about my situation. I send hundreds of messages every week and I’m either completely ignored or told “Sorry, I don’t want to date a single parent”. It’s so frustrating and depressing. It has also cost me more than £200 so far and I haven’t had a single date out of it.

I don’t have tons of friends so I don’t go out much and therefore struggle to meet women. I’m a very talkative person and not too bad looking, but I just can’t seem to get that bit of luck. Most women say that they would love a nice guy like myself but then choose the opposite!

What can I do to change my luck?

Coleen says

OK, first of all, it strikes me that you’re using the wrong sites. For example, there are several dating websites just for single parents like yourself, which immediately eliminates those women who aren’t interested in a man with a child. Do a quick Google search!

If you tailor it to your situation, you’ll have a much better chance.

Secondly, don’t give up. I actually know quite a lot of single parents who met the love of their life. I think you’re perhaps too wrapped up in finding someone, now you’ve realised that’s what you want.

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You’ve made the positive decision to try and it’s wonderful you have the support of your son, but try not to let it take over.

Don’t let it become a chore or a burden – dating is meant to be fun!

I’d also recommend you get out in the real world as well, rebuild your friendships and cultivate new ones.

Friendships often grow into something more and that’s a great foundation for a romantic relationship.

And be really proud of the fact you have done such a fantastic job raising your son.

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