I can't forgive boyfriend but we still go on dates - Evewoman
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I can't forgive boyfriend but we still go on dates

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I can't forgive boyfriend but we still go on dates

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I know I will never end up back with my ex, but it doesn’t seem like a bad idea to spend time with him until I feel ready to settle down with someone else

Dear Coleen

I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago. He was my first and only boyfriend.

Since our split I have tried dating other guys, even just speaking to other guys, but I don’t feel the same connection and chemistry with them that I felt with my ex.

For the past three weeks we have been back in contact with each other and going out on dates. I’ve even been going over to his house to have dinner with his family, like we used to do.

The issue, however, is that I will never consider taking him back as my boyfriend because of the reason we broke up, and my family would never forgive him either for what he did.

I don’t think I’ve forgiven him myself and I’m not sure I ever will.

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I feel as though the only reason that I am still in contact with him is because I’m in a part of my life where I’m not ready for a relationship.

And because I know I will never end up back with my ex, it doesn’t seem like a bad idea to spend time with him until I feel ready to settle down with someone else.

Is it wrong of me that I am just wasting my ex’s time and only using him for selfish reasons?

Coleen says

I think it’s important you don’t lead him to believe it’ll be anything more than it is.

What worries me is that you feel you have to be in some kind of relationship, even if it’s with an ex who clearly did something seriously bad for you to dump him and for your family to be unable to forgive him.

If you’re not ready for another relationship, just be on your own and have a good time with your friends. And you can enjoy dates – they don’t always have to turn into a relationship.

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I’m also slightly worried that you’re lying to yourself and trying to justify why you’re seeing him again. If what he’s done is that bad, then why would you want to have dates with him and go to his house for dinner with his parents?

If you’re being honest that you never want to be his girlfriend again, then why drag it out?

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My advice is to move on properly. It’s always hard to cut ties with your first love but most of us don’t end up with our first boyfriend or girlfriend.

Give yourself the opportunity to meet someone who’s right for you.

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