I'm an emotional wreck without my wife

I had been married for about eight years until last year when my wife and I separated. Before the separation we had many fights, in most instances accused each other of infidelity which at one point led to a big fight which led to our separation.

She works in Baringo and I am in West Pokot and she has evaded all my efforts to reconcile with her. She does not want to see me and has relocated our two children to a place I don’t know. I love her very much but I am really suffering because of this.

Living without them has really affected me and I am suffering inside. How can I get her to meet me and discuss this matter? I don’t understand why she is behaving like this but I know that I really want them back. Please help....

{Tobias}

photo:africanspotlight.com

Tobias, eight years of marriage is quite an achievement but you also ought to realise that marriage requires a lot of patience and compromise. The hard stands that people take in marriages are what lead to broken marriages. People should accept if there is a prevailing problem. This includes accepting all mistakes because to err is human and accepting mistakes does not mean that you are weak. If there was infidelity discuss it and iron things out. Suspicions will always be there but people sort things out amicably when they talk. {Evelyn Kabaki}

Dear brother, you may try to reach her through other people if she has refused to meet you. Friends, relatives and close family members can do that. She is acting out of anger but the fact remains that separation is not divorce and she is still your wife. She will come back soon but take heart because for every problem there is an existing solution. {Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo}

You have just as much right to see your children as she has to keep them. There is no law that prevents you interacting, having time or talking to your children just because you are separated. I advise you to go to a children’s court and file a case against your wife for partial custody or visitation rights over the children. Once you get this, look for another woman to marry and forget about the mother of your children unless you want to fight till your death. {Onyango Outha - Jauduny}

Tobias, use her best friends to reach and convince her to talk this out with you and build this vital bridge. She behaves so because you have refused to make her have confidence in you. Once you get the opportunity to talk to her, no blame game, be very honest and make her see that you really want her back, without betraying the weak point in you, which she may want to exploit in some other time in future. {Tasma Charles}

This is a rather complicated situation. You need to look for someone who can do the mediation. Try talking to a parent or a close relative who can talk to her and seek the re-union. Meanwhile, seek counselling. It will really help. {Calvin Queens}