The other day a colleague of mine decided to open up to me at lunch time. It was one of those days that I had intentionally gotten a seat in the corner because I wanted to be left alone with all my thoughts.
Let’s call him Fred. What was his life and death situation that made him feel the need to interfere with my ‘me time’? Well, the fellow is newlywed, only been married for four months to the love of his life.
And he could not understand why his wife always came to bed in ugly, tattered stocking or big scarfs wrapped around her head making her look like singer Erykah Badu. He could not understand why she walked around the house in over-sized and sometimes torn promotional tee shirts and shapeless pants that looked like they had survived the cold war.
His situation got me wondering why men are so concerned with what women choose to wear at home or to bed?
In fact, I believe if men could have it their way, women would be walking around the house naked, or in sexy, short shorts and cropped tops or revealing, short silk night dresses; or maybe Victoria Secret lingerie complete with towering red heels.
I hate to burst that bubble but that only happens in the movies, there is nothing like sleeping cute, at least not in the real world.
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So let me educate all you men out there on women’s house couture, and let me start with the one thing which has boggled men for centuries, why we wear stockings or ugly head scarfs to bed.
Firstly, being a woman is hard work, when you see us looking all beautiful and dolled up, do not assume that we were born like that. We put in effort, and we put in a lot of time, and sometimes endure extreme discomfort in the name of being beautiful — just for you guys.
And so when you see us walking around the house with stockings or scarves on our heads, please remember that we are not crazy and we do not have some weird fetish for stockings on the head. Bear with us because it is all about the necessity to keep our hair neat.
Necessity to ensure that we do not look like mad women the following day. Necessity to ensure we do not ask you for money every week to go do our hair.
The stocking and the scarf are one of Mother Nature’s greatest inventions when it comes to maintaining and keeping a hairdo looking fresh and fabulous throughout the month. Thus, they are not going anywhere anytime soon. Oh yes, deal with it!
Then there is the issue of why we do not dress up at home and choose to hang around in those so-called ‘nguo za kukalia’.
As I said being woman is hard work, you not only have your day job, you also have to look after a grown man, look after the house and the kids if you have any.
And so at the end of it all you do not want to be restrained by tight fitting clothes or overexposed by crotchless underwear in the name of being sexy, you just want to be.
And also to have some breathing room. You simply want to be free, after all you are at home! So, dear menfolk stop complaining about our ‘seng’enge ni ng’ombe’ tee shirts and turbans of uncertain origin, they are here to stay.
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