Go ahead and cheat, just don’t ask me to lie for you

Should you cover for a cheating friend? If your friend who is married or in a committed relationship is two-timing her partner and she asks you to be her alibi when she goes to eat the forbidden, would you go along with the lies? If she lied she was with you and her partner asked you if it is true, would you corroborate her lies or would you tattle on her and disclose her indiscretions? Is it your duty as her bestie to have her back in such a situation, or is it unfair of her to expect you to provide a cover for her deception?

It is one thing to find out that your friend is cheating on her partner and not telling on her and it is whole new ballgame when you are dragged into it by having to lie for her. It is a lot of pressure to put on a person and no one would like to be put in such a position. The predicament becomes even stickier if you are friendly with her significant other. You may not be the one having an affair, but by being your friend’s accomplice, you’re betraying him too. If he ever finds out about the infidelity, he wouldn’t be too happy with you for enabling it. There is no clear-cut answer on what you should do if you ever found yourself in such a situation. Even though girl code dictates ‘sisters before misters,’ you could find yourself in a serious moral dilemma, especially if you don’t agree with the cheating lifestyle. It is okay to cover for your friends during bumpy times and you would expect them to cover for you too because, let’s face it, we are not saints. We’re all works-in-progress and somewhere along the way, we will mess up and we expect our friends to be there to help us without passing judgement.

So, in such a situation, remember that you have no moral obligation to intervene, so forget about blowing the whistle on your friend’s cheating. I believe in minding your own business when it comes to people and how they conduct their relationships. It is frankly none of your business. However, you can choose to say no when she asks you to cover for her. Whether it is because of your religious beliefs, moral code or personal history, refusing to be her accomplice doesn’t make you a bad friend.

Lying for a friend to cover up her infidelity is not just a white lie. It is a big deal to some people. I think it is an unbelievably crappy favour to ask of your friend. I mean, sure, cheat if you want. No judgement there. But you are not much of a friend for asking your pal to lie for you. Sisters before misters goes both ways. If you decide to play the field, don’t automatically expect your friends to back you up. Be a grownup and deal with it on your own.