Is his latest behaviour my cue to leave?

I have been cohabiting with my boyfriend from January even though we are still in college. Things have, however, changed in the recent past. He no longer goes out with me and in most instances, he prefers to leave the house alone. We do not hug, kiss or have any more intimate moments. I recently came from school and did not say hi to him. Because of this, he got worked up and started accusing me of not wanting to be with him anymore. He even threatened to leave and rent another house. I love him and don't want to lose him even though my mum had warned me about him and she insisted that I leave him. I don't know what to do. {Shillah}

Your Take:

When the man who has been so attentive towards you and has shown you a world of interest suddenly backs off and creates distance between you, you are naturally going to wonder why.

When a guy loses interest in you, there is often a series of tell-tale signs he is extricating himself from being a part of your life. Noticing these signs will help you get ready for the inevitable. Take some time to heal  before you move on to someone better.

{Jessica Kagwiria}

Shillah, what is lacking in your relationship is communication. This is usually the driving factor to any thriving relationship. It is important to revive the communication you once had and this will reignite the spark in your relationship.

 Initiate the hugs and kisses. Tell him you love him and you always care about your relationship. The simple things work miracles and your relationship will get back on track. If the situation does not improve after all this, seek professional counselling together.

{Calvin Queens}

This issue is somewhat technical because you are chasing two important birds at the same time. In as much as you are in love with somebody, remember your education is equally important. What if you became pregnant today?

It is your education that will be affected, not his. Heed to your mother’s advice as your mother does not see any future for the two of you. Love can wait! Stress related to love or relationship might not give you peace the you need to do well in your studies.

{Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo}

Now, you know what to expect should you want to continue with this relationship. Things will not always be the way you want them should you decide to get together. Secondly, you are still young and could wait until you got mature enough to reason beyond outings, kisses and hugs. Marriage means a lot more than that.

{Tasma Charles}

Counselor’s Take:

In this life, it is not only good but wise to read the signs of the times we are living in. Many times, people do not say what they want but they communicate the same through their deeds. It is only when we take their deeds casually that we fail to see the bigger picture and more so what is really going on around us.

Shillah, you mentioned several things about your relationship. All these are clear indicators that he has lost interest in this relationship and is looking for a reason to leave at the earliest opportunity.

This is why he gets worked up apparently because you came into the house and did not say hi to him. He even threatens to leave and rent another house.

Those are the signs and indeed the words of a man who wants to end a relationship. Whenever one of the parties in a relationship starts considering leaving as an option whenever there is a problem then one thing you can be sure about is that they have been thinking about this for a while.

The emerging problems only present an opportunity to present what has been in their minds all this time.

The writing is on the wall. I don't know what this guy has, but it looks like his future is well planned out. However, I may not tell you who is on his future by name, but I can tell you are not the one. This is the problem of not reading things as they are.

Many times, we see what we want to see then miss out on what is really going on. It is about time you started paying attention to what is going on around you and making informed decisions based on what you see.

However, you may want to reach out to him to try and understand what the problem may be. He may be having some pressing issues that are weighing heavily on him. Men are only good at balancing things when everything is alright.

 When issues come up, they either worry too much or put everything else aside to focus on the problem. During such times, men become distant and can be rather hard to understand and to deal with. {Taurus}