Lessons from Jada Pinkett and Will Smith's red table talk

By Dayan Masinde | Monday, Jul 13th 2020 at 11:11
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1. Separation is not divorce. Jada and Will separated for a time only to come back together.

2. Almost all marriages go through a season where the couple feels like giving up on each other. Some end completely, others like for Jada and Smith emerge stronger.

3. Come to the table to talk and hear each other. As a couple don't be afraid to have difficult conversations.

4. Most extra-marital connections happen because of the desire to feel good. After Jada and Smith separated indefinitely, Jada turned to August Alsina to feel good but feelings don't last. Jada went back to Will, the one man who has stood with her through the years.

5. Who you connect with during separation can actually respect your marriage that is in uncertainty. August Alsina was the one who blocked Jada upon realizing she is not yet done with Will. He did not take advantage of Jada's vulnerability. If you are building something with someone who is not done with their marriage, are you honourable and respectful enough to be the one who ends it like August Alsina?

6. Any marriage can survive and thrive after a shake up or near death of love experience if the two work at it together.

7. Healing takes time. Jada and Will are laughing and talking about this incident that happened more than four years ago because they have put in the work to heal individually and as a couple.

8. If you don't have fulfilment as an individual you will not find fulfillment in marriage. Jada said when she learnt to be happy by herself that was when she found happiness in marriage.

9. Your childhood trauma can affect your marriage. Because of the trauma that Jada went through in her childhood, instead of dealing with the issues, she hid by helping people in attempts to seek validation. This helping of people was what led to her getting close to August Alsina because it made her feel needed. Most extra-marital connections start with some form of help.

10. The public will want to have an opinion about your marriage without knowing your personal journey. Many will gossip about you two, feel entitled to speak about your issues and itch to hear bad things about your marriage. But those who have matured or who have gone through their own challenges as a couple they will keep quiet, pray for you, understand that sometimes relationships are not easy.

11. Don't get back together merely because of the children. You can tell friendship and fondness runs deep between Jada and Will, not just because they have children together.

12. You will never know how much your spouse loves you and is committed to you until he/she has an opportunity to walk away but chooses to stay. Jada and Will now know for sure they love each other unconditionally.

13. It is important to be honest with each other and not get emotional on issues so that you both be real with each other.

14. Embrace humour in your marriage. Jada and Will are able to laugh with each other and at themselves. This strengthens the bond.

15. Honour your word. Jada and Will have been together for 25 years now. At the beginning of the marriage, Will told Jada "I will love you through anything". Jada did not believe him then because she did not understand how someone can love her through it all but Will proved himself to be a man of his word.

16. Don't let outsiders and third parties own your narrative, this is your marriage, forget what inconsequential people who jump onto shocking headlines and trending hashtags are saying. Jada and Will set the record straight on THEIR story.

17. Once you emerge from a challenge in marriage, share your lessons to strengthen other marriages. We need more stories of real love to inspire a generation that is giving up on love.

 

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