Relationship advice from long-married couples

By Rose Murugi | Tuesday, Feb 11th 2020 at 10:13
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When you get into a relationship with someone you love, you usually want the relationship to last for as long as possible because you don't want to lose them. However, nowadays, people don't stay together for long due to issues that emerge as the relationship progresses. Despite these challenges, there are some couples that have managed to stay together for more than 30 years, and they have shared the reasons their marriages lasted for so long.

Never give up

Do not give up when times are tough, and there seems to be no end in sight for the suffering you two are going through. There's always a way through the tribulations, and the tough times eventually pass. Things eventually get better and they always do. Every relationship definitely has ups and downs, but if you two love each other and are willing to work through things, then the fruits will be worth it years to come. However, if your partner is physically or verbally abusive, don't wait for a miracle. If they are not taking actionable steps to seek help and change, you'll only be putting yourself in danger by waiting around.

Accept them the way they are and work through the differences

No matter how much alike two lovebirds are, there will still be some differences because you two are individuals who went through different life experiences that shaped you into who you are now. Don't try to change someone to fit the perception you have of them in your mind. Accept that person the way he/she is and work through the differences you two have.

Communicate

Some couples sweep some issues under the rug because discussing such things seem embarrassing or weird. For instance, your partner may have very bad hygiene and a disgusting body odour that completely turns you off, and you start avoiding physical intimacy with them. This ends up affecting your relationship. The easy way out is to talk to them about it in a loving manner, but some people would rather avoid that issue. However, there's a reason why communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. When something is bugging you, just talk about it with your partner. Don't keep secrets because they accumulate, fester, and turn into something else.

Passion fizzles, love becomes stronger

Don't expect everything to remain the same, because it won't. Couples that have stayed together for long go through different phases because people change. For the first few years, there may be passion and sparks flying between you two. The 'honeymoon' phase eventually ends, and reality kicks in. The passion may no longer be there, but a deeper and stronger form of love develops between you two. Don't ditch someone you truly love to chase the 'sparks' with someone else because it eventually fades over time.

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