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Confessions: I seem to prefer younger boyfriends, is that okay?

Relationships
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 My mum says a man should be two or three years older than his wife (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

My besties and I all seem to have boyfriends who’re a lot older or younger than us. And all of us are coming under a lot of pressure from our families to choose someone who’s our own age instead.

My mother in particular keeps saying that a man should be two or three years older than his wife, and is giving me a really hard time over my current boyfriend because he’s younger than I am.

Why does she care so much? And how can I get her off my back?

Does Age Matter?

Chris says,

Hi Does Age Matter?!

Traditionally, everyone always expected a young woman to marry a man who was a little older than herself. Hence the criticism you and your friends are getting from your families.

The reason is all about male economics. Because a man’s status and wealth tend to increase as he gets older. But until recently, an acceptable age difference was limited by life expectancy.

Marry a man who was too old, and he might not be around long enough to help you raise your children. So two or three years older became the traditional age gap.

But nowadays, people can be fit and healthy for far longer. And so couples, where he’s significantly older, have become much more common.

They’re also often very successful because older men have usually figured out what life’s all about, and make much nicer partners! They manage their lives better and are much more sensitive to the needs of their wives.

But confusingly, the number of women who are marrying men younger than themselves is also much higher than it was.

Partly that’s being driven by women’s increasing financial independence. Because a career woman gains more financial clout as she gets older, and her experience gives her more self-confidence. And not just in matters of her work and social life.

She’s also more demanding in bed! She’s more knowledgeable about herself and determined to get what she wants.

it’s a sad fact, but men's and women’s sexual desire peaks at different times in their lives. Men are at their most enthusiastic in their early twenties, while women generally reach their peak around their late thirties.

So for a successful and confident lady who’s thoroughly enjoying her career, it makes all the sense in the world to marry a guy who’s younger than she is.

So don’t let your family put you off. Times really have changed.

A younger boyfriend may not be as considerate and sensitive as an older man, but the chances are he’ll most likely look better by your side, have more stamina and enthusiasm, and be much more willing to go out when you feel like a night on the town!

All the best,

Chris

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