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Your partner is on a dating app, what next?


Mr Sir is in the shower and you are making the bed. Suddenly his phone notification pings but you ignore it, it’s nothing major. Then it pings again and again and again. Okay is the world coming to an end? What’s up? And because he trusts you enough with his phone you unlock it and scroll through his notifications. Nothing prepares you for the tinder icon and his various matches inboxing him. You can’t believe it, what next?

1. Calm down

This may seem like a joke but breathe in for a minute, compose your thoughts before attacking. A lioness in the wild calculates her attack before launching herself at her prey. It may seem hard, you may literally want to burn his house down but be smart about this. Calm down and strategize.

2. Get rid of the evidence

Return his phone back where he had left it, and continue with the chore at hand. When he gets back inform him casually that his phone was blowing up with notifications. Gauge his reaction, if he stiffens slightly he is hiding something clearly. You are a woman, you are born with the gift of deception, let him believe all is well as you continue with your investigation.

3. Do not make a fake account

You may be tempted to make a fake account in an attempt to catfish him or catch him right in the act. But don’t do it. It stings knowing that he is looking for someone else be it only sexual or for something more serious. Don’t stalk Mr Sir, listen to me very carefully, don’t do that to yourself.

4. Address the matter

After you have had time to organize your thoughts and calm your anger. Sit Mr Sir down and explain to him your discoveries. Yes you looked through his phone but the two of you are open when it come to the little devices of destruction. Then address why he is on a dating site, let him explain, most probably lie straight to your face or maybe come clean. Whatever his reasons are, you now need to figure out a way forward.

5.Next step

Depending on your stand you may decide to continue with the relationship or you may decide to leave. It’s up to you, whatever you may decide make sure you fully analyse the situation. Don’t make a rushed decision.

Now that is the reasonable approach, but some of us(I mean me) there is no time to be reasonable. Common sense exits the chat, anger and destruction joins the chat. Picture this, diary of a mad black woman where Madea takes a chainsaw to the sofa...yup!

If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done?

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