Girl code: Let’s put those ‘trusted gadgets’ away

Let’s talk mobile phones. This gadget is the Titanic that is going to sink us all in this era if we aren’t careful. When I was in my early 20s and trying to find my footing in the relationship world, phones were just that - phones. Right now though, I think I am so addicted to mine.

I have been out of the dating world for such a long time my phone can pass as my partner. It’s the last thing I touch before I retire to bed and the first one I lay my hands on when I wake up and when I get up to pee in the wee hours of the night. I don’t even reach for the switch anymore when the room is dark, I just grab my phone and find my way.

My phone is slowly turning me into the introvert that my mother never gave birth to. Her Beryl was an outgoing human who would walk into a quiet room and fill it with laughter. One who would cause chaos when least expected and never shied away from expressing herself. But my phone has taken me away from all this fun, turning me into a zombie who walks into a room and the first thing she looks for is a socket so I can sit next to it and charge my phone as I look at people as if they are something a cat had just dragged into the house. In fact, I think whoever will marry me will have a difficult time trying to keep me away from my phone.

I know there are several people here sailing in the same boat - they just aren’t brave enough to come out and accept that a machine has taken them hostage. It was all well in my early 20s until my then relationship took a nose dive, driving me deep into social media for company. By the way, have I ever told you that I was once ‘married’? I mean the kind of marriage not recognised by the constitution. The one that involves co-habiting with your partner till pride does you part. You know that situation where you and your partner are in the room and pride is equally in the room with you. That’s when I withdrew myself from humans and concentrated on my phone.

Social media is addictive by the way so if you can, try and limit the amount of time you spend there. People like myself have already been written off by social media rehabilitation centres. There was even a time I would take a shower with one hand stretched out holding my phone as I surfed the internet. I belong to the group of people who lock themselves in the whole day just tucked somewhere in a corner, scrolling through social media sites. I will only join in a conversation if my phone allows me to by running out of power.

My phone has taken the side of me that had embraced love and relationships. The last thing I want to hear now is falling in love with someone because I know a heartbreak is jogging somewhere waiting to hit hard. I have therefore resorted to cheering on those in love from the comfort of my phone.

The only thing that comes before my phone in my life is my daughter. She who slightly changed my addiction by her arrival. At least my attention is now divided between my phone and my daughter though I must agree my daughter gets the bigger share. The day I will meet my prince, I will flaunt him using my phone. If I ever walk down the aisle, I will go live on social media from the time I make the first step into the church to the time I say “I do”. I will use my phone to push my marriage down your throats.

These are probably some of the reasons I am yet to meet my prince charming. I am wicked! My phone has turned me into a small wicked human being out to prove a pointless point. Anyway, shall we all put down those phones and give each other some love? My phone is officially down until I pick it up.