Nine ways to help your children be independent

The most important goal as a parent is to raise children who become independent and confident. During early development your children should be able to count on you. You need to show them love, protection, support and guidance.

As a parent you need to know as children reach adolescence and move towards adulthood they become less dependent and gain greater independence in all aspects of life. This process of separation prepares your children for adulthood.

In order to help them learn how to take care of and believe in themselves follow the steps below.

i. Encourage them

You need to encourage your kids to try out new things and make them go out of their comfort zone and be creative without pressuring them to be perfect. Never try to make them perfect because they might be afraid of failure and choose not to try anything at all. Give positive feedback which will help shape your child’s personality.

ii. Endorse a problem solving habit

As a parent, one of your many duties is to jump in and fix any problem that may arise. You need to give your children the chance to come up with solutions. Allow them to think for themselves without giving them answers every time.

iii. Provide a safety net

Come up with a routine that will help your children to try out new things. Schedule routines in the morning, afternoon and evenings. It will help them keep up the pace and they won’t be so overwhelmed by it.

iv. Encourage them to be independent thinkers

As parents you need to train your children to become free thinkers without influencing their decisions and choices each time. Let them learn to do things for themselves.

v. Encourage their self-esteem

You need to encourage this and develop at an early stage. The child will be able to make his or her own decision and make them feel worthwhile. Allow your children to have some form of freedom in some aspects like what to wear or what snack to eat.

vi. Be empathetic

Remember your child is learning to be independent and it isn’t easy for them. Don’t try and put your children down or scold them even though they fail to do something that is simple or easy. Always be there to support them without judging them and putting them down.

vii. Teach them negotiation skills

Be open to your child and teach them how to compromise and be able to negotiate so that they understand that they can’t always have what they want. Give them choices like going for swimming or lunch but tell them they cannot have both, so they will have to prioritize their preference.

viii. Respect your child

According to experts, as parents you need to draw a circle of respect around your children up to the newest born baby. You need to address them by name, tell them what you are about to do and even ask for permission before touching them.

ix. Help them

Children have different periods of attachment from the time they are babies to toddlers and to becoming kids. At times it’s also good to step in and help them where possible. Offer them words of comfort or a hug and let them know you will always be there.