Parenting beyond pink and blue

There is a reason mothers dress their babies according to gender — pink for a girl and blue for a boy — and that’s because it can be difficult to tell what sex a baby is in the first few months.

Many parents treat boys and girls differently from birth. Girls are seen as princesses, while little boys are thought to be more boisterous.

We sit girls on our laps, cuddle and make eye contact with them. We’re more likely to bounce boys around.

The way we feel about ourselves sends messages to our children. Mothers may be more at ease dealing with a girl’s body because it’s familiar and are shy of touching a boy’s genitals. He’ll get the message she’s not as comfortable and become aware that he is different to her.

That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. To get on in life, you have to learn not to be afraid of something different from yourself. The lesson starts with the differences of the sexes.

Has your little boy begun fiddling with his bits in public? Does your little girl insist on pulling up her skirt when you’re out shopping?

Well, there’s no need to worry, it’s perfectly normal for your child to become aware of their genitals at around 18 months. It’s an age when they get their first sense of self and learn the differences between themselves and their parents.

Many parents struggle to handle their children’s fascination with body parts, but your child is not doing anything wrong.

It’s a natural part of development and any strong disapproval could lead to problems with your child’s sexual development later on.

You have to make sure they know you don’t find their behaviour disgusting, but there’s a time and place to do it.

It’s important to never react with disgust or slap their hand away because they may end up with a bad body image later.

Tips for raising a gender-balanced child

1. Be open and honest. If they show an interest in their body parts, tell them what it is. Show them differences or similarities between our bodies.

2. Be aware of stereotyping. Don’t assume your little girl will like dolls and your boy prefers rough-and-tumble sports. Everybody has masculine and feminine sides to their nature and both should be nurtured.

3. Be guided by your child’s behaviour. If your girl is a tomboy and likes to play on bikes and climb trees or your little boy prefers to sit quietly playing with dolls, don’t worry. Encourage and allow them to develop their own individual tastes. The more freedom you give a child, the more sure they’ll be of themselves.

4. Don’t be super-sensitive. Don’t fear that if you’re too warm and cuddly to your son you will turn him into a mummy’s boy. ..Or that if he plays too much with dad, he’ll turn into a ‘lad’ later on. But be aware of your own prejudices and fears, which your child will pick up on.

5. Provide a range of non-gender-specific toys. Give him a variety of toys including books, dolls, building bricks, cars and dolls to play with. He’ll go to whatever stimulates and interests him most. The more freedom you give him to choose, the more rounded he will be.

Photos: www.dailymail.co.uk