Newsflash Ladies: Not all men are on a hunting mission

There is a huge mistake that women make in their interaction with men. They almost alsways assume that if a man is around them enough times, he wants to sleep with them. Who came up with this fallacy? You great some and they sneer or sulk. You are tempted to yell: “It’s just a greeting, not a marriage proposal, you idiot!”

Can a chicken cross the road without being judged? How many years have you been around very supportive extended family members? Did they all want to sleep with you? How many male colleagues at work are happy to associate with you, purely on professional terms? You think their decision to keep things professional makes them less men? Come on ladies!

I got a pal of mine who has been close to a number of ladies. He generally gets his fix just chatting up the ladies. He is a ladies man, in a slightly different approach. So he will often meet up with them early evenings at coffee shops as he waits the boys to navigate the city traffic so that they can hook up for a drink.

My pal was greatly disappointed the other day. This was after, when in the company of his ‘girlfriends’ doing justice to copious amounts of coffee, one blurted out. “Pato, could please make up your mind and stop wasting everyone’s time?” This got him astounded.

He could not tell where this came from. The woman saved him from further torture. She continued. “How many cups of tasteless coffee are we going to drink listening to stale jokes as we wait for you to pick one of us?” She was not done. She switched to bitch mode and went on to yap:

“Why are you such a confused character? Or are you spoilt for choice? We can help you to make up your mind. You can have us individually for the next six weekends to gauge your taste. Or if you wish we can throw one hell of a pentagon summit in a single session, just for you. The choice is yours.”

This really disappointed Pato. Here was a group of girls who he thought were more like sisters, only that he could talk a little bit trashy about relationships with them without a worry in the world.

To him, this was a group of close friends. He actually treats them as part of ‘the boys’. The guys you invite when you go for ruracio or a harambee to sort some of the social events. It had never occurred to him that he should view them as potential sexual partners.

Believe you me, I associate with brilliant fellows, and Pato is one of them. But he swears that, that thought had never crossed his mind. To further complicate matters, all the other women around the table seemed to read from the same script. It is like they had previously discussed this agenda. It made him feel like a vulnerable bull being led to the slaughter house.

So, who made women think that if a man is close to you, his ultimate goal is to peel off your clothes? If you as a woman, you have been hobnobbing with men who can only ‘hold a conversation’ with your bust or your great future behind, probably you are rolling with the wrong crowd. You need to rethink your judgement qualities before opening up your world to 'mafisi' that know the wild all too well.

If you are making all the wrong choices in life, do not assume that the world is behind you making the same blunders. Wake up and smell the coffee!