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How do I get 'husband material'?

Marriage Advice
 Where can I get husband material? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

I am looking for a husband, and quite frankly I am close to giving up! Because the men I date all turn out to be hopeless. Why don’t I seem able to find a good man?

Giving Up

Hi Giving Up!

Probably because you are not meeting enough men!

That is because every good thing in life starts with meeting someone new. So the more men you meet the better. Like how a lot of sales calls go nowhere before you make a hit.

So start checking out every man you meet in the course of your day. It only takes a few minutes, and it is not a date. It is just a chat! So no embarrassment, no wasted time.

Just rub shoulders with lots of possible men and show genuine interest in each one of them. Just small talk that establishes his availability, background, job, what he likes doing and so on. Everyone loves talking about themselves, so the conversation will go well, and a few will turn into promising dates.

Go on quickly weeding out anyone who does not match your needs, values, interests and so on. Like if his behaviour, personality, interests or way of life does not match yours, let him go! After that, you can safely fall in love with any of the others.

Get the idea? It is all about weeding out the no-hopers. And it works, because if you have this sort of brief conversation with just two new men a week, that adds up to a hundred a year! And that is the sort of number you need to meet to find a man who is right for you.

Expect only a handful to survive the first date or two. And be honest. If you do not want to go out with him, say so. Any signs of insecurity, personality disorders, infidelity etc, let him go. If he does not treat you right, let him go.

So do not give up. Because there is a man out there who is right for you. Lots of them. Chat with enough men and you will find one. In just a year.

All the best,


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