x Eve Woman Wellness Readers Lounge Leisure and Travel My Man Bridal Health Relationships Parenting About Us Digital News Videos Opinions Cartoons Education E-Paper Lifestyle & Entertainment Nairobian Entertainment Eve Woman Travelog TV Stations KTN Home KTN News BTV KTN Farmers TV Radio Stations Radio Maisha Spice FM Vybez Radio Enterprise BULK SMS E-Learning Digger Classified The Standard Group Corporate Contact Us Rate Card Vacancies DCX O.M Portal Corporate Email RMS
Login ×
BTV
VAS
DCX
RMS

Confessions: He got fired after a deal gone wrong, now he wants my help

Marriage Advice - By Hilda Boke Mahare | January 18th 2021 at 08:09:44 GMT +0300
He has been pushing me to take a loan of Sh500,000 to help him start a business but I am afraid of losing the money if the business collapses (Photo: Shutterstock)

My marriage has been good over the last six years and we have not had any serious problems until my husband got fired in 2016. He was working in a good audit firm but he was set up by his colleagues on a money-laundering scheme that backfired and he was sacked without any benefits. It has proven hard to get another job because he cannot get a reference letter from his former employer and his contacts are no more. He stays indoors and watches TV all day. He has been pushing me to take a loan of Sh500,000 to help him start a business but I am afraid of losing the money if the business collapses. I support the family with everything and I would really like to help him get back on his feet but I am not sure giving him the money to invest is the right thing. I want to help him out but I don’t know how. Please advise me.

{Agnes}

Boke says:

Dear Agnes,

You are a strong woman and I commend you for remaining level-headed amidst all the pressure. It is unfortunate that your hubby lost his job, however this is not the end of the world. Job losses are becoming a normal phenomenon although it hits men and women differently but it is up to the individual to make a comeback and reinvent oneself.

The sofa and TV habit however, is not encouraging in any way. If he wants to go into business, discuss the nature of the business. Get to discuss the profit margins, location among other details. Let it be clear that business cannot be an escape route from idleness.

It is already strenuous taking care of the family on one income so do not overburden yourself. I strongly believe that your husband is better off employed first than getting into business. Encourage him to get a job even if the salary is lower than his previous one. From there, he can raise his capital. Getting into debts for now can be very risky, knowing well that it will take a while before you can get a reasonable income from the business income.

  1. READ MORE
  2. 1. Man republic: Would you marry a woman who earns more?
  3. 2. Six reasons why you could still be single
  4. 3. Man's attempt to flirt backfires as he accidentally adds 60 women to groupchat
  5. 4. Confessions: We tried the 3x3 rule in our marriage and we've never been happier

The other alternative is to start small. That way, he can give himself time and room to learn, make mistakes and learn again. I must also forewarn you to be on the lookout for manipulative acts that are geared towards making you feel guilty for not availing this money. Especially when he begins to blame you for his predicaments. Many women cannot handle this twisted truth, they only realise the truth when they are in deep financial mess and the man has taken off into the arms of another female.

Otherwise remain sober and positive things will change.

Hilda Boke Mahare has a background in Counselling Psychology

Be The First To Comment

Top Stories

Five secrets you shouldn’t tell your partner
Girl Talk - By Esther Muchene


Ingredient of the week: Sparkling (carbonated) water
Food - By Wambui Kuria


Adele and Simon Konecki finalise divorce two years after splitting
Entertainment - By Mirror


4 ways to break a soul tie
Relationships - By Jennifer Karina


How to get rid of dark elbows and knees naturally
Hair - By Christine Koech


7 Benefits of using eggs for facial treatment
Skin Care - By Naomi Mruttu


Knotless braids: Everything you need to know about this protective hairstyle
Hair - By Lolita Bunde


How long to keep opened syrups
Health - By Dr Ombeva Malande


4 ways to break a soul tie
Relationships - By Jennifer Karina


4 ways you can treat a vaginal itch at home
Health - By Wanja Mbuthia


Latest Stories

Confessions: We tried the 3x3 rule in our marriage and we've never been happier
Marriage Advice - By Mirror


#Confessions: I've been cheating in the car with a friend's husband
Marriage Advice - By Mirror


Confessions: How do I live in harmony with my domineering mother-in-law?
Marriage Advice - By Hilda Boke Mahare


'I love my wife and have two children but I fancy my workmate'
Marriage Advice - By Mirror


'It's two years since his affair, but I can't move on from his betrayal'
Marriage Advice - By Mirror


Confessions: My new wife wants me to get rid of stuff I bought with my ex
Marriage Advice - By Hilda Boke Mahare


'I married again but I'm still in love with my teen sweetheart'
Marriage Advice - By Mirror


Confessions: I got a scholarship to study abroad, should I leave my wife behind?
Marriage Advice - By Hilda Boke Mahare


Seven things you can do for your relationship
Marriage Advice - By Esther Muchene


Confessions: My husband wants sex everyday and I can’t cope
Marriage Advice - By Hilda Boke Mahare


Stay Ahead!

Access premium content only available
to our subscribers.

Or Login With Your Standard Account
Support independent journalism

Please enter your email address to continue

Support independent journalism
×
Create An Account
Support independent journalism
I have an account Log in
Reset Password
Support independent journalism
Log in