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Five ways to deal with loneliness and shyness

Lady Speak
 Sometimes the cure to our problems is facing them head on (Shutterstock)

It’s rather interesting how you can be surrounded by people but still feel lonely. And this can happen to you no matter who you are or your state.

Depending on the triggers such as a result of social isolation, you may struggle with loneliness. This may also stem from shyness which may sound easy to overcome but it is not.

Shy people tend to be self-conscious and very uncomfortable in most social settings. And despite well-intentioned advice that all you have to do is smile, stop over thinking or just walk over to them and say hi, that is the hardest thing you can ever tell them to do.

So, whether you’re trying to make new friends, get into a relationship or break the ice at your work place, here are a few ways you can employ to try and deal with loneliness and shyness.

i.Accept yourself

Most of us tend to be too hard on ourselves. We tend to criticize our every word and action which automatically affects how we feel.

You need to change how you view yourself and the words you say when you make a mistake. It is part of being human and we all make mistakes.

Give yourself a break when you mees up.

Every time you catch yourself scrutinizing a failure or a screw up, stop it immediately and use words of affirmation.

ii.Talk about it

If you’re really struggling with shyness and loneliness, it may be a good idea to get some emotional support. If you can’t reach out to people close to you then you should consider a professional counsellor.

A therapist will be able to rule out whether or not you have depression or social anxiety and they can be able to help you.

iii.Learn how to be alone

This may sound like a contradiction considering you should be out there making social connections to break your shyness and loneliness, however, there are benefits to it.

Learn to enjoy your own company by keeping busy. You could consider learning a new skill or pursuing a new interest. Before you know it, those feelings of loneliness will start to wear out.

 Change how you view yourself and the words you say when you make a mistake (Shutterstock)

iv.Practice some self-love

As you work on keeping yourself busy by engaging in a new activity, you know what else helps? Taking good care of yourself.

Working out can help you feel upbeat and elevate your mood, getting some vitamin D can trigger the feel-good hormones, eating right will make you feel better and good sleep quality will help you think straight.

When all these are aligned, you will find yourself feeling confident and making an effort to come out of your shell.

v.Face your fears

Sometimes the cure to our problems is facing them head on. Start with less scary stuff then build up gradually as you conquer your fears one by one.

You can begin by going to a work party and smiling at a few strangers, asking simple questions while keeping the conversation short, ask someone to introduce you and help you break the ice and before you know it, you will have the courage to walk over even to a group of people and engaging in what they are talking about.

As you take this brave steps, remember not to put too much pressure on yourself.

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