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I fooled around with my niece and now she is pregnant

My Man
 Photo: Courtesy

Last year my wife’s aunt gave us a girl she has been taking care of to help us with the housework. She does her work very well but things took a nasty twist for me when I got tempted and started an illicit relationship with her. At the time she went home for Christmas she had missed her period twice and she later confirmed that she is indeed pregnant. Apparently, her mother (aunt to my wife) found a testing kit under her pillow and is now demanding to know if she is pregnant and if yes, she wants to know who is responsible. My wife is already aware of this unfolding scenario and the pressure is building on her to take a test in the presence of my wife. I know I messed up but I need all the help I can get. Please advise...{Vincent}

Your Take: Dating your house help and eventually impregnating her is calling for disaster in your marriage. At this point you cannot hide because the cat is out of the bag. Confide in your wife through your marriage counsellor and bear responsibility for unborn child.

{Andie Chaplain}

It is good that you realise how badly you have messed up. Now the only thing left to do is to tell your wife the truth and apologize before things get worse.

{Elvis Ogola}

Vincent, you have to carry your own cross and take responsibility for the pregnancy. Do not even try and consider abortion. It is not a crime for that girl to be pregnant with your child but abortion is criminal.

Talk to your wife about this and seek counseling for the both of you. Be remorseful and seek God’s guidance through this. Do not make this mistake again as there are things you can use to prevent pregnancies such as condoms if you cannot control yourself.

{Onyango Outha}

The truth will always set you free Vincent so invite your aunt to your house and in the presence of your wife and the young girl admit everything and take responsibility for your actions.

Ask for forgiveness and you will be free. I know it is going to be tough for you but do it before they realise you are the one responsible for this will only worsen the situation.

{Fred Lastborn}

Vincent try and meet all the parties separately and seek their opinions about this. It will not be a bed of roses but what has happened has already happened and hard lines will only make things worse.

Accepting ones mistakes is always the first step to freedom from guilt and self-denial. Face your aunt and tell her what has befallen you.

Chat the way forward with her concerning the pregnancy, even if it means taking the girl back to the village to deliver there as you think about how you are going to take care of the child once it’s born.

{Ouma Ragumo}

Counselor’s Take:

Vincent, you are now in a hostage situation. Young and vulnerable girls are no good at keeping secrets. Right now it is just a matter of time before they confirm her status and when they do, she will be compelled to talk.

There is no telling what will happen to you, how your wife will take this and where this will end. Worse still you stand to lose face and credibility among your family members then having to deal with a pregnancy....you need an intervention.

From your description, I have a feeling that she may be underage. If this is the case, things may and will get very complicated for you. However, despite what she says do take some measures to ascertain if she is indeed expectant. Sometimes there are signs then they turn out to be just empty scares.

To handle this matter in the right way, you will need to get her to your side more so to understand how delicate the situation is for you but just as much for her and all others who are involved. If she is indeed pregnant, you need to come up with a convincing story to cover up but of course with the objective of ensuring that she does not suffer in the process of covering up for you.

The easiest way is to divert the attention by creating an anonymous character who was her alleged boyfriend who she was seeing. You can use your wisdom and street skills to get a number that does not go through which would be the only way she used to reach him. This may be a simple explanation but it is indeed final in that if the guy cannot be reached, then he just cannot be reached.

However, if she agrees to play along to such a plot then you ought to do your part by supporting her through the pregnancy and in raising the child. Remember that this is a sacrifice she will have to make for you more so to appear stupid and careless to protect you and the well-being of your family.

 I would not encourage you to push her to get rid of the pregnancy because this would be unfair to her. It is often very easy for men to push girls towards abortions and this is so because it is the more convenient path for them but they do not consider the prevailing risks that come with such actions. Do what is right for you but also consider what is best for her. {Taurus}

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