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Don’t ask to hold the baby: Etiquette rules of visiting a new mom

Lady Speak
 Before you get your legs over to that hospital or to a new mother’s house, take note

It is sad and even annoying when a relative or friend hears you just delivered and they show up unannounced. While the intention might be from a good place, more likely than not they end up becoming a burden. You feel obligated to hold a conversation and entertain them all the while taking care of the new born baby.

Before you get your legs over to that hospital or to a new mother’s house, take note.

Communicate in advance

Never ever show up unannounced. Call or sms in advance to communicate your eagerness to visit the new family member.

Go when it’s convenient for them not convenient for you

Always ask a new mom when she would like you to visit. A Sunday visit after church may work perfectly for you but it may be a bad time for her. So, ask before you show up.

Bring food

With her hands full she will appreciate a good meal. Bring her what she likes and has little to zero preparation time.  Babies tend to eat every two hours or less which leaves her with very little time to cook. Readymade food is the key to her heart.


The importance of this cannot be stressed. Babies are very sensitive and therefore the first thing you should do before getting comfortable is washing your hands.

Do not visit when you are ill

This should be common sense but sadly it is not for everyone. Regardless of how mild your cold is, postpone your visit until you are completely well.

No children please

The last thing a new mom needs is yelling and children running around her house. Kids add onto her anxiety and God knows the kind of germs they go carrying around. So please leave your children at home so she can enjoy a stress-free environment.

Don’t ask to hold the baby

As ridiculous as this sounds, new mothers are extremely overprotective of their babies and the last thing they want to see is their baby being passed around. No matter how hard it is to resist, unless she offers don’t ask.

Offer to help

With a new baby, there is so much work to be done and any assistance will be appreciated especially if she has no house help. Making a cup of tea for her or washing the dirty dishes can go a very long way.

Don’t go empty handed

Even if you bought one during her baby shower, etiquette demands you take for her something. You can call and ask what she needs or if she had a baby gift registry you can pick an item from there. If not, you can never go wrong with diapers. Just make sure it is the good quality.

Don’t overstay your welcome

Keep your visits on the shorter side during the initial first weeks. Take cues from the mom like if she wants to sleep, pump etc as s signal for you to leave. Unless she asks you to stay.

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