x Eve Woman Wellness Readers Lounge Leisure and Travel My Man Bridal Health Relationships Parenting About Us Digital News Videos Opinions Cartoons Education E-Paper Lifestyle & Entertainment Nairobian Entertainment Eve Woman Travelog TV Stations KTN Home KTN News BTV KTN Farmers TV Radio Stations Radio Maisha Spice FM Vybez Radio Enterprise BULK SMS E-Learning Digger Classified The Standard Group Corporate Contact Us Rate Card Vacancies DCX O.M Portal Corporate Email RMS
Login ×

Girl code: Why I won’t be marrying my best friend

Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi | November 2nd 2020 at 08:17:32 GMT +0300
I have never fallen in love with anyone I considered a best friend (Photo: Shutterstock)

How close are you to your partner? In my early twenties, there was this one line that was drummed into my head in regards to marriage; get married to your best friend. This got me looking at my closest male friends a certain way. I got so confused about how to treat them.

I have never fallen in love with anyone I considered a best friend. Maybe I have fallen in love with a friend but I have never held onto a friend long enough for him to become my best friend then fall in love with him. You see, I fall in that group of people who find love from strangers.

Come to think of it, everyone I have dated approached me as a stranger -- whether we met at a function or in college or just online; then slowly we got to know each other and graduated to dating. So I still get confused whenever I am told to get married to my best friend. I look at male friends and wonder what it would be like if we decided to date or get married. That possibility has never sat well with me.

One time, I approached my pastor for some relationship counselling after the man I was dating started misbehaving. By the way, I still can’t believe that I actually walked myself to a church to tell on this man who didn’t even belong to that church in the first place. Some of these stunts that love makes us pull are out of this world because this man still walked away.

Anyway, I was telling you how I went to my pastor who started telling me that I was in a better position to date my best friend. This was after he asked me several questions about the man which I wasn’t in a position to answer because I honestly had no idea what the answers were. To be sincere with you, I have never been as confused as I was after the relationship ended. I was there trying to figure out who among my best male friends I was going to date next.

One time, a friend who wasn’t even among my best friends hit on me. I must say it felt like the weirdest thing to me. I felt like our friendship was about to go down the drain. I mean, how do you date and marry your friend without denting the friendship? The way I love being ‘babied’ by my man in a relationship! How do you even start to suddenly throw tantrums and sulk for a friend who has known you for years.

The same friend who has seen you fight a gorilla single-handedly should now be rushing to help you when a rat runs across the living room? This just doesn’t add up.

  2. 1. Telltale signs that your friends are trustworthy
  3. 2. Why you should consider scheduling intimacy
  4. 3. Bad idea: Driving lessons from your man
  5. 4. Ne-Yo announced he was divorcing wife Crystal Smith on podcast before telling her

Needless to say both the friendship and the dating came to a sudden halt. I vowed to never look at my best friends as potential ‘snacks’. So I am still here sticking to love that is nurtured from the blues.

I am, however, curious to know what it feels like to date or even get married to your best friend. How does this work? Do you get hold of your best friend, start dating them and marry them or do you date and marry a random human then make them your best friend?

This man of God I went to seek advice from told me that the reason I should consider getting married to my best friend is that whenever we have an argument and differ as a couple, we can forget the couple a bit and hold onto each other as friends till we make up.

Seriously, I am still trying to understand how this works. As in if I argue and differ with my husband, I can refuse to talk to him as a spouse but talk to him as a friend? So we carry on the day as friends until we sort out our issues? Is that even practical? You who got married to your best friends, is that practical? I have not been able to separate friendship from love. They come intertwined.

So I will just sit here and protect my best friends by saying ‘no’ when they make a move. Dear best friends, you are there to help patch up my heart when it has been broken by my man, not to be one of the men lining up to break my heart.

[email protected]

Top Stories

Woman left in stitches as she reads back list of goals she made in January 2020
Lady Speak - By Mirror

Sarah and Simon Kabu on growing their own vegetables and chicken
Gardening - By Audrey Masitsa

Researchers discover most common symptom of COVID-19 and it's not a dry cough
Health - By Mirror

Beyoncé's daughter Blue Ivy making money already as she narrates Hair Love audiobook
Entertainment - By Mirror

Confessions: I got my boyfriend a DNA test and it revealed his mum's secret relationship
Relationships - By Mirror

'My partner's mum bought me a wedding dress but we're not even engaged'
Bridal - By Mirror

Bride slammed for shaming best friend's wedding gift on social media
Bridal - By Mirror

#Confessions: My best friend loves me but I'm worried we're going to mess it up
Relationships - By Mirror

How to make a simple ginger remedy
Healthy Eating - By Nina Odongo

Five protective hairstyles you should try right now
Hair - By Audrey Masitsa

Latest Stories

Bad idea: Driving lessons from your man
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

Man catfished by woman falls in love with her sister after she used her photos
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Girl code: People, he is my husband, not my robot
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

Eight dating trends singles should watch out for in 2021
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Confessions: My husband died before building a house for me, how do I approach my co-wife?
Girl Talk - By Hilda Boke Mahare

Girl code: Yes, your husband is still someone’s son
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

#MyWord: How do you know you’re broken?
Girl Talk - By Christine Koech

How to know if your group of friends is toxic
Girl Talk - By Lolita Bunde

Signs you have an anxious attachment style
Girl Talk - By Audrey Masitsa

Confessions: My husband loves Liverpool FC more than me so I've started cheating on him
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Stay Ahead!

Access premium content only available
to our subscribers.

Support independent journalism
Log in
Support independent journalism
Create an account    Forgot Password
Create An Account
Support independent journalism
I have an account Log in
Reset Password
Support independent journalism
Log in