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Sexting a friend whom we work together at mjengo has messed things up with boy I like

Girl Talk

Dear Coleen

I’m a girl and I worked on a building site for 18 months.

About four months ago a new crew started on site and I got along with them really well. Just before my contract was up and I moved to another site, one of the new boys asked for my number before he went on holiday so we could catch up when he was back.

When he returned we were texting and talking about meeting up. Then last Saturday night one of his workmates, who’d somehow got my number, started texting me.

At the start I was being nice and texting back as we had such a laugh in work together. Then on Sunday both boys were texting me. The texts got really sexual with the boy who’d started texting on Saturday night and we talked about wanting to have sex. I haven’t heard from the first boy since, so I don’t know if he found out about the other boy.

I really regret sending those sexts as I may have messed things up with the one I like, as they are colleagues. Help!

Coleen says

This is a good example of why you have to be careful with texting – people get carried away on text because it’s not face-to-face. You can find yourself saying things you would never say in person.

My guess is that the first boy – the one you like – has got wind of these texts, so he’s backed off... and you can’t blame him. Maybe you were only flirting and being silly, but that’s not how it looks to him.

If you really like the first boy and you think that he likes you, then you have to come clean about the texts to the other boy. Call him – don’t text – and ask him if he’d like to meet for a coffee or a drink, and then explain that you sent some silly texts to the other boy, but that you regret them.

The fact is, you’re not dating each other at the moment – you don’t even know if he likes you in that way. But if you let him know how you feel, then the ball is in his court.

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