× Digital News Videos Health & Science Lifestyle Opinion Education Columnists Moi Cabinets Arts & Culture Fact Check Podcasts E-Paper Lifestyle & Entertainment Nairobian Entertainment Eve Woman Eve Magazine TV Stations KTN Home KTN News BTV KTN Farmers TV Radio Stations Radio Maisha Spice FM Vybez Radio Enterprise VAS E-Learning Digger Classified Jobs Games Crosswords Sudoku The Standard Group Corporate Contact Us Rate Card Vacancies DCX O.M Portal Corporate Email RMS
menu search
Standard Logo
Home / Between The Sheets

Six intimacy killers you should know

 Irrespective of how long you've been together you should always strive to keep the intimacy burning (Shutterstock)

Intimacy is a very important part of any relationship and it is a common reason why relationships lose their spark.

Sometimes we, or our partners, without knowing, kill the intimacy in our relationships.

Research shows that couples who have been together for very long experience a strain in their intimate lives which ends up affecting their relationship in general.

This mostly happens subconsciously because who just sits down and wants to sabotage their marriage or relationship for no good reason?

Sometimes getting too comfortable with your partner makes you do less and less to keep the intimacy burning. You get used to each other and end up forgetting important aspects in a relationship.

To avoid being sabotaging your relationship, here are some intimacy killers you should be aware of

i.Not wearing the ring

You have probably interacted with people who say: “Why do I need a ring after ten years of marriage as the whole world already knows I’m married.” Well, not feeling the need to flaunt your marriage, irrespective of how many years you have been married, can sometimes cause a strain.

Remember, you wore it as a symbol of your commitment to each other and therefore, you should always keep it on as a sign of your commitment.

Also, wearing a ring can be a defense when it comes to adultery as it acts as a reminder, to you and those who want to engage in that unholy act with, not to do so.


‘’I honestly don’t understand why this is a big deal.’’ You will often hear this from those who clearly have no understanding of the repercussions of flirting.

Truth is, flirting is a big deal.

Why would you entertain others while you are committed to one person? Subconsciously because the other person is new and you are trying to discover them, coupled with the excitement that comes with flirting, you might end up neglecting your partner.

Anyway, why can’t you just spice things up by flirting with your partner.

 You can spice things up by flirting with your partner (Shutterstock)

iii.Adult content

If you really have to, watch it with your partner and if he or she is not interested in doing so, avoid it altogether. Pornography can be a great way of spicing things up when you do it together.

Erotic novels or watching adult films can cause an addiction which can affect your intimate life. Somehow these materials influence how you think and can make your partners seem boring and before you know it, problems that could have been avoided begin.

iv.Negative friends and family

Loved ones can affect how we view our partners. We have those close friends who we talk to about everything which can be both a good and bad thing.

If your friends or family are negative or unhappy with your relationship, they can make you start resenting your partner and in turn affecting your relationship.

v.Lack of team work

It’s important for a couple to share their chores and also help each other. Making each other feel supported is a great way to maintain and improve intimacy. They will feel warm and loved and it will definitely reflect in other aspects of your relationship. Neglecting your partner and leaving everything to them to handle will only make them resent you.

vi.Being strained

So many things can strain us emotionally, physically and mentally which can have a toll on our relationship. As thus you need to take time to look after yourself in order to take care of your relationship.

Sometimes we project these issues onto our partners which in turn starts drawing them further and further away from us hence killing the intimacy.

Related Topics

Share this story