Does your child give the nanny more attention? Here's what you can do
By LOLITA BUNDE | 3 months ago
If you spend long hours at the office every day and you have children then you have experienced this heart wrenching feeling where you feel your children loves the nanny more than they do you. But can you blame them?
You spend hours working and when you come back to the house you are slammed and all you can think about is your bed.
However, all this time your children patiently wait for you to come back home and spend time with them but as usual you can’t.
If you are feeling a little inadequate and probably thinking of switching your nanny, you need to stop and consider the following tips instead:
- Be grateful
For one, it's not every day that you come across a stranger who loves and takes care of your children like you want them to.
If your children are feeling loved, this only means your nanny is dedicated in what she does and you should be glad.
Imagine going to work and all you can think about is whether your child is safe or even fed?
- Take advantage of that bond
Instead of having a cold war with your nanny, use her as the connection to your children.
In most cases children will open up to people they feel close to and in this case it's your nanny. Connect with her and let her tell you how your children are really doing and feeling about school or life in general.
You might want an emotional connection with your child but if your nanny is all you have, use them.
- Create time for them
Create time for your children like you create time for the numerous meetings and work.
Just like your busy career, children need attention too and they can feel when you are distant or too busy for them.
If you are available on weekends let them feel your presence, switch off all gadgets and spend quality time with them.
You could go out or play games together and during this time create your own kind of bond.
- Ensure you put them to bed
If you can't be there during the day at least ensure you are there during the night, don't let a day pass without your children seeing you.
You can be the last person they see every day before going to sleep, you could cuddle them, tuck them in and read a story.
It may not seem like much but that will be your special time together that they look forward to everyday.
- Do not make promises
If you are not going to keep a promise do not make it. Children are very sensitive and when you promise to be there for supper or play with them over the weekend, they put all their trust in you.
When you fail to keep your word, you lose a piece of them each time. If you can't guarantee something, don't float it around, instead surprise them. Surprises are better than always making up for broken promises.
- Stop comparing yourself to others
The worst mistake you can make is comparing yourself to other people.
Each person is built differently and just because you don't have what they have with their children doesn't mean something is wrong with you or you are getting it wrong.
Children are also born different and you need to create your own relationship with them and not emulate what your neighbours or friends are doing.
- Be patient
Last but not least, be patient with your children. You might feel second in their life but remember they feel the same way about you.
You can't force a bond but you can build it at your own pace. Remember you have seventeen years to cement the bond with your child and you will always be there for them. So stop worrying and give your child the best life you are trying to build for them.
Tip: Your nanny may have your child's love for a season but you will have their love for an eternity so, give it a rest and let your child have all the love they can possibly get now.
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