Would you marry a person on the first day you meet them? This was the case with Nollywood actress, Padita Agu. In a tell-all video recently uploaded to her YouTube channel, the Nollywood star opened up about her three-year-long marriage to a man that she tied the knot with upon officially meeting him face-to-face for the first time.
Fifteen years ago, the now 39-year-old actress was introduced to this stranger, and they maintained a long-distance relationship through lengthy, daily phone calls. They committed to each other on phone and agreed to marry the first day they met. He insisted that they should keep their plans a secret and not even tell their families.
Agu explained that as she made the wedding plans, she let it slip to a friend that she was planning to marry this man. Her friend was upset and discouraged her. She said that he had assured her that should they meet up and marry and then find that the relationship doesn't work, they would dissolve it. She agreed, naively and now, looking back, she wishes she had been more forthcoming [to friends and family] about her plans. On their wedding day, they met at the registry. The cab drivers who drove Agu and her beau there signed the marriage certificate as witnesses.
That was the beginning of their troubled three-year marriage.
In the video, Agu said that her husband turned the tables on her, telling her that they couldn't dissolve the wedding because before God and before the law, it was binding. He told her that should she attempt to break it she would "bring a curse on herself and her descendants". The relationship, she admitted, was toxic, to the point where she even attempted suicide. They had to part ways eventually.
She hopes her story will inspire young girls, particularly the introverted ones, to make better life choices.
Here are the lessons that she learned from the secret marriage.
- Never give in to pressure
Agu explained that nobody should pressure you to commit and that the decision should be yours to make. Women, it is often argued, have limited time due to their biological clock and thus we are pressured to settle down and start making babies. If you're not ready, say no.
- Never assume you’re familiar with someone you’re chatting with on phone or social media
The actress adviced women not to commit fully to a person that they are in a long distance relationship with. "Even if you meet every now and then, people will most likely be on their best behaviour and only show you what they want you to see."
- Never settle for a spouse that you are not compatible with
Compatibility is key because that is what will determine how you relate with one another. No one is perfect, however, your major, non-negotiable requirements need to be met. Compatibility doesn't only refer to emotional or financial compatibility, it also includes physical attraction.
- Never live in isolation
It is important that you discuss this important life decision with a trusted friend or family member. Suffering in silence can drive you insane.
- Pray about your future partner before you commit
Even if you and your potential spouse are compatible, pray to God for Him to reveal their true character. Sometimes, a person will only show you their best side and then change the script once you get married.
Images: Instagram (@paditaagu)
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