Five ways to handle stubborn defiant children

Parenting is one of the most fulfilling things in life. Ask a mother what her greatest joy is and she will proudly tell you it’s her children.

It’s exciting when you get to watch your toddler grow and develop into a responsible person. Sometimes however, this process is not as simple as you would expect.

Parents expect their children to be sweet, loving and obedient at all times. In reality, some kids tend to be more stubborn than others. They exhibit defiant behaviours that can often drive you crazy.

Don’t be embarrassed if you feel overwhelmed by your kid’s behaviour. You’re human and it’s only natural that you feel that way when your child doesn’t listen to you.

If you’re struggling to handle these stubborn aspects of your child, we have some amazing tips that can help you.

1. Accept them

The first step to handling defiant children is to accept them fully. Accept that some children are naturally defiant from birth while others have simply grown to be stubborn. Doing so will help you understand some aspects of their behaviour such as root causes and reasons as to why they behave the way they do. In some cases, you’ll even find that your child has a disorder that causes them to be stubborn. Once you accept them, you’ll be able to handle things from a more understanding point of view. This will in turn help you get to the bottom of the situation without you losing your mind.

2. Let consequences play their part

Sometimes, you just have to allow life to be the teacher. One of the most effective ways of dealing with stubborn children is letting them experience consequences. If you constantly tell your child not to do certain things and they just won’t listen, take a step back and let them see why they shouldn’t do those things. The best thing to do is to warn them as a parent and choose your battles carefully. This will help you stay grounded and sane.

3. Stay calm

Having children who barely listen can be very overwhelming for any parent. At times, it can push your limits and cause you to yell and shout at them for doing something wrong. When you lose your cool and shout at them, it’s likely to get them upset and even more defiant. It’s important to manage your emotions and treat them well. This will help you stay calm and less stressed in the midst of chaos.

4. Reward good behaviour

There’s nothing that motivates children more than rewards. Giving rewards for positive change will help them be more responsible and responsive to you. If they fail to do what they promised to, take away the privileges of having a reward. Rewards don’t always have to be expensive or extravagant. Children can also use your own reward system to manipulate you into getting what they want. Find creative and small ways to help them feel encouraged when they show positive change in their behaviour.

5. Compromise

Sometimes the best option is to compromise on certain things. Children are often motivated when they feel heard and respected. Also, they might not be inclined to do certain things when they are forced into them. Negotiate with them and give them options to counter what they want. Talk to them about your expectations and don’t be so rigid on them sometimes. Let them have a say. Before you know it, they will outgrow some of these stubborn behaviours with time.

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