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I have been wondering why some men develop cold feet when they realise their significant others are pregnant. I wish I could get a conclusive answer. These men take off and, later on, probably after years, show up and blame fear for missing in action when they were needed the most.
So, today, I ask all the men here what exactly makes some of you develop cold feet? What is this thing that creates fear in you? It mostly happens to first time fathers but some men have made it their default reaction each time a baby is on the way. One minute, they are all excited about starting a family but the moment the family is started, fear creeps in.
I have always imagined that it’s the women who have every right to develop fear. Men should come in during such times to calm their partners down, assuring them everything would be alright.
After all, it’s women who grow bellies, experience morning sickness and cope with physical and emotional changes. What then are men afraid of? It beats logic why they run away during the nine months of pregnancy and show up after the baby has started running around. Some even show up when their children are almost adults.
Then we have that lot that just never shows up! I am not sure if they forever live in fear wherever they are. If you took off because a baby was on the way, why would you later come back to claim the same baby you ran away from? Or did you think your woman was growing an electric fence that would electrocute you constantly during the nine months?
This fear still doesn’t add up. I would really wish to understand it but I just can’t bring myself to. Since Tony Mochama claims to speak for the boy child, he might have an answer for me.
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If you are afraid of this pregnancy and what it would bring with it, you can imagine what your partner is going through. Isn’t she the one walking around carrying this pregnancy every single minute? If running away from pregnancy was an option, then trust you me, He who created us all would have made pregnancy happen elsewhere other than a woman’s womb and given both men and women the equal chance to run away from it.
What exactly are men thinking when they just get up one morning and walk away from the pregnant us? Fine, we may sound OK but, deep down our hearts, we would wish to walk this journey with a partner. The feeling of experiencing every single stage of a pregnancy isn’t something that can be replayed. Once you miss it, you miss it! There are no two ways about it.
Men, are you afraid of our unpredictable emotions during pregnancy? Are you afraid of our growing bellies? Are you afraid of our unpredictable cravings? If only I could get answers to these questions. Then you should see these same men crawling back after years of absolute absence and disconnection. They then want to show up and claim a part of a child they neglected.
By the way, personally, every time I remember how I single-handedly walked like a Chief Executive Officer duck on these streets during my pregnancy, I feel like telling whoever is responsible to go back to where he came from. But you see, I am very considerate. If he ever shows up (which I know he will because I gave birth to a star), I will just sit him down and politely ask, “Baby, what were you afraid of? Why did you let me walk around these streets alone yet I looked like Pink Panther with tiny limbs, a long neck and protruding belly?”
Dear men, this journey is not and has never been easy. So next time you score for your team, celebrate the goal and stay put until the last whistle. Stop imagining the referee has showed you a red card then you hop off the pitch like an excited grasshopper.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke