Last weekend, I went to visit a friend of who happens to be married. Just spending a day with her nearly made me change my mind about marriage. Before I even continue, do some married women ever have the option of getting tired in their homes or do they just work round the clock like machines? I thought my three-year-old alone was a handful to me until I spent a weekend in my friend’s house.
You see, Lucy is married with two children and by the time I was getting there, the family was having lunch. Lucy’s first born child is three and the other one is barely one. From the moment I walked in, I cannot remember the time she sat down to rest, even when the children were both asleep in the afternoon. I thought that by offering to help, I would at least make things move faster but nothing really seemed to move. One chore led to another and another. If anything, by the time we were all going to bed that night, other chores were beckoning at us from a distance.
The husband didn’t make anything better. Just when we thought we were winding up in the kitchen at 4pm, he showed up unexpectedly with six of his friends and they were all hungry! I mean, showing up at your house unexpectedly isn’t an issue but showing up unexpectedly with a hunger-stricken battalion to be fed by your spouse is surely a big issue. Then these people did not even want anything light, like tea and snacks, maybe. They were geared up for a heavy meal that needed both a relaxed mind and emotion to prepare.
I went to the kitchen with my friend and all through, she complained and murmured about things only she knows about. I could feel her pain though. Just when she wanted to rest her back after going up a hill, a mountain appeared from nowhere! We made fun of all that while in the kitchen, at least to make the session lively. Then, immediately after the battalion was fed, they left without notice, just like they came. Not even a “Sorry for the ambush” kind of goodbye. It’s like they had just walked in and out of a fast food restaurant.
It had taken both of us a whole hour to try and put the children to take a nap and barely 30 minutes into their sleep, in walked the noisy battalion that woke them both up. I swear I felt sorry for Lucy. The exit of the battalion left us with another heap of utensils to clear and children to run around after. If they weren’t fighting, they were teaching themselves how to fly from the dining table and screaming after a painful landing.
I asked my friend what time she rested and she told me she rested at work. That’s the only time her body relaxed, not even her mind. That night, the children started dozing off before dinner was ready. Maybe a result of not having their afternoon nap. So Lucy and I juggled between cooking and entertaining the children to stop them from sleeping before they could eat. By the time dinner was ready, we both got hold of a child and, trust me, feeding them wasn’t a walk in the park.
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That night, I went to bed really tired, thanking God that I am not married yet. I can imagine going to bed after having worked all day like a bulldozer then being told, “turn and face this side,” by my husband who probably showed up in the wee hours of the night with one friend who will need a place to sleep because the wife refused to open the door for him. Personally, I was too tired to even dream, let alone turn or wake up to prepare the guest room for the friend.
Don’t even ask how our morning was the next day. Just know that by the time I was leaving, we had not even had the chance to catch up. I wish our husbands knew how sweet catching up is with a glass of wine and feet on the table. I wish we could just be allowed even an hour of unwinding, we aren’t asking for much.
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