Losing someone you love is terrible and it may be the hardest thing you ever have to go through.
It is an inevitable and permanent part of life, but who you become once you have braved the storm is up to you. It will change you and it may even destroy you. This is because loss never gets easier. What changes is, you learn to live with it differently as the days go by.
Grieving metaphorically, is a process where you pick your poison and this are some of the things they don’t tell you about that whole process.
- Feeling relief more than sadness
This happens especially if someone you loved had a terminal illness or was in pain therefore them dying is more of a relief than seeing them suffer in silence. This doesn’t mean you loved them any less and wished death upon them, but it is more of a relief to them the pain has finally ended.
- There is no right way to grief
Grief does not have a set time. It can take months or years to get over it but each person has their own grieving time and moment. For someone who has lost a loved one you need to give them time to mourn because people mourn differently.
- It doesn’t go away
One thing they don’t tell you about grief is that it’s a part of you! You will always love the person you lost, and you will always miss them. With time you just adapt and learn to function without them being around, but you never stop missing them because you’re never fully prepared for to spend the rest of your life without them.
- It gets worse before it gets better
Grief is one of the hardest thing anyone can go through. Before things go back to ‘normal,’ you will feel pain, sadness, bitterness, get into some vice, leave alone the loneliness in so many ways more than ever. But, it will eventually become better with time. You will lose yourself, your identity and purpose too which is normal. You will learn not only mourn the loss but you will learn to cope without them.
- It is okay not to cry sometimes
As much as losing someone you loved is hard and quite painful, it is normal when you do not cry at times. You can choose to remember them and feel happy instead of sad and this will help you to cope with your emotions and the fact that they are gone forever.
- You don’t get over it, you just get used to it
No matter how much we try and get over the loss it doesn’t happen. You can never get over a loved one’s loss, but you just learn to get used to them not being around anymore. This is one of the hardest things one goes through because all the memories are fresh and still linger in your mind!
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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke