Do you really need closure after a break up? : Evewoman - The Standard

Lady Speak

Is closure really necessary after a break up?

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Often we have been told that closure might help heal our broken hearts. That we’d be able to wipe our slate clean and move on. But the question that is usually in our minds is whether you really need closure.

For many people, closure means so many things.

There are some who want clarification on things that happened within the relationship that they could not understand. Others would be seeking forgiveness for the wrong done to them. And others just want the chance to tell their former partner that they are hurt before they could move on to other things.  And there those who only want to mete out the pain they have been feeling since the breakup.

This crowd believes that they deserve an explanation as to why things ended the way they did. To them, if the partner cannot offer such an explanation, chances are that the reason is not sufficient. It could be also a way for them to find out the kind of role they played in how the relationship ended.

However, there is a whole bunch of people who think closure is a waste of time and a way to cling to the past. Or even a way to keep trampling on your pain over and over again.

For this bunch, closure is a way to expose yourself to someone who hurt you. They believe that getting an answer from such a person could never be sufficient because you could be looking for something they can never give you.

They believe that the best thing to do is forgive and forget as this would easily set you free from the past.   To them, the approval of their ex-partner is unnecessary since they are already charting a new life.  

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However, the important thing whether you want closure or not is to be at peace with yourself. That you forgive and stop being too hard on yourself.

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