Rules for kula kwa macho: The sober edition

There might be doubt about whether men like to be viewed as pieces of meat, but I can tell you that many women like to be appreciated.

Yes we moan loudly about how men ogle shamelessly and some women even want ogling banned, yet I think a life without men ogling the women would be a very dull life (a life not worth living). However there are few things we are yet to understand about the peculiar way that men ogle.

1. When it comes to cleavage, we do not understand why men treat our cleavages and bosoms as if they are a different being. Men even have whole conversations with our thoraxes often ignoring the fact that our mouths reside in our faces not in our chests. Look at our chests if you must, but please address our faces.

2. There is a time and space for ogling and admiring female bodies. Men really do not pay attention to this and some have been caught in all their leery glory when in serious meetings to discuss global issues or when in very sad situations. Full blown ogling is allowed in weddings, clubs and pubs but when it comes to funerals meetings, please temper down the ogling.

3. The female body is truly beautiful with its all corners and curves, with all its hills and valleys. No matter how inviting the body might look, men are advised to avoid the temptation to touch or pinch any amazing specimen that is presented to them. Such actions can lead one to a life sentence. If you must ogle, then stick to the kula Kwa macho phase only.

4. Lastly, if you cannot help yourselves from appreciating the female form in all its glory, the easiest way out is to get some good eyewear to camouflage your intentions. That way you can feast your eyes to your heart's content. When all is said and done, a woman's body has more to offer than a man's body.