Awkward moment when your man wants you to behave like a porn star

Since the beginning of time as women we've done all sorts of things in the name of making our men happy. We have bought long European hair because although men claim they hate weaves, they are drawn to women in weaves like bees to nectar. When men discovered they loved women with big butts, we went out and bought strange potions that fatten our backsides, or just cheated and bought padded underwear instead.

Then when men decided that they wanted us to look like our Hollywood sisters; all polished and perfect like dolls, we indulged their fantasy. And when men discovered that they liked fit women, we hit the gym and starved ourselves. Never mind that men these days think that them having pot bellies at the 'tender' age of 28 is utterly sexy.

The list goes on and on, women have been known to do just about anything to keep their man happy; so much so that if you name it, we women have probably done it! But we, too, draw the line somewhere. There are some things we will not do to keep a man, one very important area is the bedroom. Interestingly enough I have been noticing the strangest theme when it comes to the type of questions that women write in about when asking for advice, a good number claim that their partners are putting pressure on them to indulge in sexual activities in the bedroom that they are not comfortable with.

One woman, who I will call Jane, wrote in distress, claiming that her partner was putting pressure on her to indulge in anal sex something that she was not comfortable with; and that his pornography stash only included videos of anal sex. Another wrote in claiming that her boyfriend could not satisfy her, that he kept trying things which he saw on his favourite medieval television series, yet none of his moves did anything for her.

And yes I know that everything these days is hyper sexualised, from advertisements, to animations, to the news. So much so, that if you do not watch pornography, you will still get a dose of it on popular television series which if you are honest play out like pornography with a script!

And I am afraid men have started to get the wrong ideas about sex, and so it is up to me to save the day and put them back in their place. Firstly, I do not judge, everyone is allowed to find their kicks in whatever positions or styles that rock their boat. But seriously men need to wake up and smell the coffee and realise that pornography and sex on television can never be the same as real life; one is fantasy and the other is real.

For men dealing with real women and not actresses, porn and television sex is the instructional equivalent of replacing a law degree with episodes of Suits or The Good Wife and then imagining you are an advocate of the high court. It is very awkward and torturous for us women when a man breaks out these moves in the bedroom and expects us to orgasm, yet we are insulted, sometimes physically bruised or left feeling unsatisfied in every possible way.

Lastly, don't ask us to wear lingerie or freaky costumes every night like they do on television, we can do it once in a while, but on normal days be ready to see us in our promotional t-shirts and stocking on our head as we have to protect our hair so that we look good the following day. Unlike porn stars we have a job to do, we can't lie in bed all day. We are real women, not porn stars!