You’ve been doing it all wrong: Three ways to stop being a friend and become a lover : Evewoman - The Standard
Evewoman-logo

Lady Speak

You’ve been doing it all wrong: Three ways to stop being a friend and become a lover

ALSO READ: I am 44, what could be killing my erections?

One of the most heartrending situations a person can ever find himself in is being hopelessly in love with someone who thinks of them as nothing more than a close friend.

I am talking about the dreaded friend zone.

The friend zone is a situation in which a platonic companionship exists between two people, one of whom has an un-reciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.

If you have ever been in the friend zone, you know how frustrating it can be. Imagine having your object of affection telling you how hot her new crush is?

If you are suspecting that you might be headed for the friend zone, here are some pointers on how to transition from being just a friend to a lover.

Do not  be Mr Nice Guy
This is a sure-fire way to end up slam-dunked into the friend zone. If you find yourself susceptible to the traits of a ‘nice guy’, you will always find yourself in the friend zone. There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy, but if you spend all your time bending over backwards to please a girl, she will see you as nothing more than a very good friend.

You sell yourself short when you take her out, buy her things, listen to all her problems and help her out when she is in trouble, but she still isn’t interested in dating you. If you are always at her beck and call, you will find yourself deeply entrenched in the friend zone. Don’t invest your time and emotions on a girl if she hasn’t shown any interest in being romantically involved with you.

ALSO READ: Help! Her aunt is poisoning her against me

Make your intentions clear
Waiting too long to move your interaction with her in the direction of the relationship will inadvertently land you in the friend zone. You should be clear about your intentions from the get-go. If you hesitate in moving in for the kill, you will come across as timid or not interested in her.

A woman will not know you are interested in her romantically unless you show her or tell her. The longer you hang out with her without making your intentions known, the more she will think of you as just a friend. If you are a bit on the shy side, you can drop subtle hints like holding her hand, hugging her a little longer or a quick peck on the cheek to say hello or goodbye.

Do not be her agony aunt
This is another foolproof way to get banished to the friend zone. If she comes to you for relationship advice and you actually give it to her, she will see you as a buddy, a confidante, and a shoulder to cry on. Before you know it, she will be coming to you with all stories of her romantic encounters with other men.

When you always make yourself available to listen to her troubles, you are no different from one of her girlfriends. A woman will rarely lay all her cards on the table with a man she has romantic interest in.

@RoxanneKenya
www.facebook.com/RoxanneKe
[email protected]

next

Latest Stories

Popular Stories