Husbands should have apartments elsewhere to relax

Initially, you thought having a man cave in your house was enough to escape every time the house is crowded, but you were dead wrong. Most married men know too well their wives will never let them have peace at home.

To be a husband, is to be an internally-displaced person in your own house. You have complained of how women take every single space from the bedroom to the bathroom. Few homes are husband-friendly when you think about it. Even before you get a child, your wife will do everything to make the house inhospitable to you as she only attends to her tastes and sensibilities (or lack of them, thereof).

In your ill-fated relationship with your ex and baby mama, your realized as the son grew older, you literally slept on the edge of the bed, since both the son and the mother hardly understood the economics of sharing the marital bed.

Now Carol, has made it practically impossible for you to be comfortable in the house. Your bedroom is painted in depressing colours and so stuffed you feel claustrophobic. The sitting room is the kid's zone. Your man cave has since been converted into a bedroom for guests and every other weekend, her friends, or sister, or some odd-relation are visiting, so you never quite enjoy it, since now, undergarments and other female clothing hang all over the place, it is uncomfortable to work or chill there.

You have been thinking. What if you actually rented an apartment somewhere else, furnish it to your taste and you can occasionally escape there when you want to chill. As a big fan of minimalism, it will have your bookshelf, some small table, classy sofas, and a fridge that is well stocked with choice whisky. The apartment should have a balcony with a relaxing view. You can spend a night or two in the apartment, host boys in the house and even escape there with Carol every time you want some private moment.

Actually, you can co-own the apartment with any of your boys who want solo-therapy, or you meet there, away from the noise of nightclubs and urine-stinking locals. Or can someone patent such an idea: have apartments where people can escape to have a perfect home environment. It needs to be reasonably cheaper than hotels, homely and with all the request amenities?

Your only fear, is that for some of your friends, like George, this will be the best place he will start bringing many of his numerous girlfriends, jeez! Wherever he picks them? Some have no class at all. They might want to stick around. And George can lie that the apartment is his and in no time you will be having trouble with a young woman who does not want you in her house.

You think it is a brilliant idea, so you suggest it to Carol.

"Now, this house is not friendly for a man, do you think I should have an apartment where I can routinely escape to chill, it is rather noisy here?"

"Don't be stupid. Waste of thoughts." Maybe she had a terrible day at work. You ask when she is in a good mood.

@nyanchwani

[email protected]